17/06/2013 09:27 BST | Updated 15/08/2013 06:12 BST

Detox Diary - Part Two


Read part one of the Detox Diary here:


Day Seven: It is my seventh day on the Chris James Mind & Body Cleanse ( and I have now entered the 'Power Phase'. Saying 'Power Phase' makes me feel like I should be wearing a Wonder Woman outfit and lifting cars up with one hand to free citizens trapped underneath, but what the Power Phase really means is no more solids - just at least 6 x 300ml glasses of juiced raw fruit and veg a day.

Day Eight: As recommended I'm going for a session of colonic irrigation, which sounds a lot scarier than it is. I entrusted myself to the lovely Vel at Aqaulibra ( who was amazing at assailing my fears and making me feel comfortable (as comfortable as you can be hooked up to a tube that pumps crap out of you). Seriously though, other than some cramps, it's not painful at all and when you see what comes out, you'll know it was money well spent. After the treatment, the feeling is like the relief you experience when you get something important off your chest...except it ain't your chest. That night, I feel uncommonly cold and a bit gross (as expected in this stage of the detox) so I curl up with a blanket on the couch and watch a 30 Rock marathon....

Day Nine: It's the last day of the Power Phase and I have my second colonic, which is a walk in the park compared to the first time and leave feeling lighter and brighter. I have very little appetite, and struggle to drink some of my homemade juices (celery, I discover, has the consistency of baby vomit when juiced). By evening time I feel a bit nauseous, but the end of the Power Phase is nigh...

Day Ten: I have reached the Maintenance Phase and can eat solids again, but easy does it. For breakfast it's fruit, followed by a salad for lunch. In the evening I bend the rules a little and eat an oatcake and a seeded spelt cracker with hummus. It takes like heaven.

Day Eleven: The penultimate day! I eat salads and some cooked veg and treat myself to a massage and sauna at a posh hotel. If you have access to a sauna at your local gym or leisure centre, use it as much as you can, as apparently it all helps with the detoxifying. I've gotta say, my skin looks even and clear, my eyes are bright and I feel calm and relaxed. On my 11th early night in a row, I dream of a cold crisp glass of Chablis.

Day Twelve: I have arrived. Apart from loosing 8lbs, totally kicking my bad habits (ciggies, booze, caffeine, Ben &Jerry's) this detox has completely changed the way I think about food - from the way I shop and eat out, to what I cook at home. I know it's a cliché to do a 'what I've learned' from this, but I'm not Martin Amis, so here's what I've learned:

1. Juicing is fun.

2. Cleaning your juicer is not.

3. A Pret chocolate croissant and coffee is not the optimum way to start every day.

4. There is a very good reason people detox in January, which by the way, is when I will be doing this do this all over again.