When I was preparing to become a new mum I was totally "prepared". I'd read all the baby books, blogs and magazines, researched all the "must have" accessories and I knew exactly what I should be eating and the exercise I should be doing to keep myself physically fit and healthy.
Having a mental illness does not make you less or a parent, and it doesn't mean you are wrong. It might mean that you need a little extra support, a little more time, or treatment - but it's an illness. And one for which recovery is possible. Please speak to someone if you feel the same. Please don't hide. You are not alone.
The people around me knew there was a difference but couldn't quite put their finger on it I had a baby, right? Sleep deprivation has a lot to answer for.
Friendship: A chance meeting that develops into fun, memories and a million WhatsApp messages. Your only agenda for being there is because you want to be, it's a bond built on pure appreciation of a particular person. Maybe that's why a friends pain can sometimes feel like a personal attack.
I don't know if this is specific to my own type of anxiety, if it's common amongst those who suffer in general, or if it's just standard in even the most calm natured of mothers, but every day I have to process my daughter's death.
It doesn't come with spots, a high temperature, a rash or swelling, nothing that lets people know that you're ill. Oh look she's got the PND rash, she could probably do with some help or a listening ear. Nope! It hides away, so only you know.
'I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life.'
Postnatal depression affects between 10-15% of all new mothers in the UK, making women feel low and experience difficult
Lifting the taboo on maternal mental health
About 10 to 15 per cent of new mothers suffer from postnatal depression (PND) but it is still to an extent treated like a