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If You Were Abused By Jimmy Savile, Maybe You Should Keep It to Yourself

Posted: 27/10/2012 01:00

If you were abused by Jimmy Savile 30 or 40 years ago, is it really wise to reveal all now, or would it be better to keep it to yourself?

I think it's the latter. I think there is more virtue in keeping the abuse as a firm part of your past, rather than offering it up to a scandal-hungry media and abuse-obsessed society that are desperate for more episodes of perversion to pore over.

There is now implicit pressure on everyone who had a sordid encounter with Savile - whether it's the 14-year-old girl whose thigh he touched or the young women he is alleged to have raped - to come forward and tell all.

They are implored to spare no detail, to pour every memory, however vague, into a hack's expectant dictaphone. The best victims also supply the media with a photo of what they looked like when Savile abused them, thus allowing us to behold their innocence and imagine its destruction by the monster Jimmy.

Who benefits from this, from the non-stop parade of Savile's sad victims across the front pages of the papers and on serious TV programmes like Panorama?

The victims themselves don't get much out of it, since they are cajoled into reliving unpleasant things that happened decades ago. Worse, they're publicly branded as damaged, as permanently scarred, despite the fact that many of them will have led full, interesting lives since that one time a dirty old man did something bad to them.

They are immortalised as one of Jimmy's Victims, and in the process they are dehumanised, turned from rounded, complex individuals into simply sufferers.

Justice doesn't benefit from these revelations, either, since Savile is dead and cannot be found guilty of anything. It is virtually impossible to prove beyond reasonable doubt that the allegations against him are true, because, in a civilised society at least, the dead cannot be put on trial. Which raises the question of why so many of the police's resources are being pumped into gathering more and more Savile abuse stories.

And society as a whole doesn't benefit from the open invitation to every person who had a bad encounter with Savile to reveal all. In fact, society, the big communal space we all inhabit, looks set to be the biggest loser in all this.

The Savile scandal will further dent social solidarity. The promotion of the idea that paedophiles lurk everywhere, that, in the words of the deputy children's commissioner Sue Berelowitz, "There isn't a town, village or hamlet in which children are not being sexually exploited", will exacerbate today's climate of suspicion and mistrust. The now widely accepted idea that there were "paedophile networks" at the Beeb, in the NHS, even around Parliament, will ratchet up already high levels of public cynicism towards institutions and the political sphere.

Meanwhile, the serious discussion about introducing mandatory reporting of every rumour involving child abuse will intensify our alienation from one another, encouraging us to live in a permanent state of suspicion towards our colleagues, friends, strangers. It will unleash a potentially very ugly finger-pointing climate. Who would want to live in such a warped, Stalinist-like society?

The reason the Savile scandal continues to gather pace, despite its obviously destructive effects, is because there are two industries that do benefit from it - the media industry and the therapeutic industry.

In the media, right from the salacious tabloids that like nothing better than to panic about paedophiles to feministic commentators on the broadsheets who muse at length about "cultures of abuse", the existence of an alleged 300 Savile victims is like manna from heaven.

They can wring both titillatingly horrifying stories of woe from these victims (in the case of the tabloids), or hold them up as evidence of a deep-rooted climate of sexism (in the case of the broadsheets), and thus the more victims there are, and the more they are willing to relive their pasts publicly and frequently, the better.

Meanwhile, the therapeutic industry - the various experts, child-protection charities and "survivor networks" that make a living from pontificating about trauma and how we might cope with it - see in the Savile story an opportunity to further propagate their abuse theories.

Primarily, today's therapeutic industry promotes the idea that the best way to cope with bad experiences is to revisit them, relive them, tell everyone all about them, whether by opening up on a therapist's couch or by writing a 'misery memoir'. In essence, people are invited to make sense of any problems they have in the present through exploring things that happened to them 20 or 30 years ago. They are encouraged to redefine themselves, not as conscious beings in control of their lives, but as 'damaged goods', whose bad experiences scarred them and screwed them up and determined their destinies, by denting their self-esteem or making them depressed or whatever.

This is a deeply and disturbingly fatalistic view of human life. It gives the impression that our entire existences, our whole adult lives, can be shaped by the actions of one weirdo in our childhoods or teenage years. Indeed, those who shrug off their past misfortunes, and who refuse to let them rule their lives, are now said to be "in denial"; they have failed to submit to the trendy therapeutic idea that we are all prisoners of our pasts.

What a high price we are paying just so the media and others can get a kick from the Savile scandal. There are probably people out there who were abused by Savile but who refuse to allow that fact to determine who they are, and who have thus resisted the rather sordid invitation to tell a slobbering nation and handwringing commentators all about it. I have great admiration for those people.

 
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If you were abused by Jimmy Savile 30 or 40 years ago, is it really wise to reveal all now, or would it be better to keep it to yourself? I think it's the latter. I think there is more virtue in keep...
If you were abused by Jimmy Savile 30 or 40 years ago, is it really wise to reveal all now, or would it be better to keep it to yourself? I think it's the latter. I think there is more virtue in keep...
 
 
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05:17 PM on 12/19/2012
Id agree that they're maybe just as upset and distress raised by digging up horrors as by leaving them in the past, and that the media obsession with what happened rather than being healthy is often just voyeuristic entertainment to sell newspapers, I guess the most important thing, it really is the choice of any victim what they want to do, and what will work for them the best in terms of resolution. In the more serious issues I guess outpouring and therapy is the solution. but in some lesser matter perhaps it is unwise to share with the media every detail.
03:05 PM on 12/19/2012
isnt that what the bbc said?
02:22 PM on 12/19/2012
This article seriously makes my blood boil. I agree with other people who have commented on this - you clearly have no concept of what it means to harbour a childhood experience for countless years... either not completely remembering what happened or just simply blaming yourself. I truly believe the more coverage cases like Savile's get, the better. It means people who have experienced abuse can feel they can speak out and it's people like you, Brendan, who stop them from doing it. People need reassurance and need to know they'll be safe and accepted as the victims they are, not that people will assume they're just out for a 'kiss and tell' story. The sad stories of abuse also mean types like Savile can see just how much their disgusting, completely unacceptable actions really do ruin people's lives for the long term and there aren't just direct victims, it's the people around them too that suffer - not being able to form lasting relationships, acting out abuse when it's not fully understood by them... the list goes on.
03:15 PM on 12/19/2012
Totally agree with you sa jaguar. Actually I feel gratitude to those who have been brave enough to speak out about abuse by Savile as it gave me confidence to talk about abuse that went on in psychiatric hospitals perpetrated by the staff, especially nurses.
12:34 PM on 12/19/2012
I agree with some of your readers that people should air their inexperienced failings to come to terms with life as it is, all of the people were young and from decent backgrounds carried forward on an urge to see celebrities and aquaire autographs, only to be used and abused and their confidence takes a kicking BUT lets be honest,if you have not told the police what happened within afew weeks do you expect people to believe you, after five years there should be nothing to answer for.
Do any of you remember Mick Hucknell of Simply Red on T.V apologizeing to all the girls he has had sex with and could not remember them so he said sorry to everyone.
How many of you can recall T.V documentries of Hermins Hermits where the lady chaperon in charge of allowing a few girls into the Hotel room called the lead singer a "dirty little devil".
How many can recall the documentry of school girls trying to get autographs of the Rolling Stones and showing the T.V reporters how to get into Hotels through the kitchens and up to the rooms through the service stairs and one of the girls stated that a friend had got into the room and after autographs and a drink one of the Stones [not Mick] took the girl into the bedroom and had sex with her.
Girls are forever looking for thrills and excitement.
11:02 AM on 12/19/2012
Maybe people should do what makes them feel better about it.

Brendan O'Neil has obviously never been abused. Lucky him.
09:27 AM on 12/19/2012
Talk about it as much as feels comfortable just avoid the press.
07:38 AM on 12/19/2012
Seems like the worst of the Internet happened on this page.

I agree that more victims of Saville should not now speak to the media, thereby perpetuating our sick 'enjoyment' of hearing the latest stories of abuse.

However, to suggest that keeping quiet (in any sense) is a sane option beggars belief. Each and every victim of sexual abuse needs urgent help no matter how long ago the incident happened. The overriding message for any abuse sufferer is this and I say it with confidence: you are not to blame for what happened. Seek counselling – professional advice. Find someone to trust and let them help you. Never hide it. There are people who will judge you based on your past but there are many who can look at you and know that the abuse does not define who you are.

Closing the doors to people who have suffered at the hands of a man like Saville is wrong. Society needs to change our actions – not those of the individual victims.

And, as for people who think Saville may not be to blame? Overwhelming evidence has already been presented against him. We cannot find Saville guilty in a court but we know that he was an horrific pedophile. It's time you stopped defending him and his actions.

In my eyes, the biggest failure is that someone in Britain's media elite knew what he'd done years ago. Saville was protected and allowed to die a hero. Disgraceful.
01:37 AM on 12/19/2012
Thankyou. Excellent an brave argument.
12:57 AM on 12/19/2012
Disagree. Although for some it is too painful to face, ever, and we should feel only pity for them, for many, and for the purposes of prevention and deterrence, the more it is discussed and in the open the better people will feel, although it will take time. It is by hiding something in the past that keeps it present. Hidden in the past does not mean forgotten or dealt with. Hidden, your mind retains the original horror intact; expressed, discussed, is horribly painful at first, but each discussion takes some of that horror away. This is piling abuse on abuse. It's saying shut up, you have no voice, just like you have never had a voice; No-one wants to listen. Well, Mr O'Neill, I hope that if you are ever harmed by another person who spends his whole life in highly visible freedom from justice for his crimes to children and young people, I hope no-one ever tells you that you should keep your mouth shut. I was a victim, once, although not of the current subject, and I found it horrifically difficult to see this subject in every place on the internet and papers and TV, and I thought I had dealt with mine. It is like everyone's nightmare come true. But over the weeks the difficulty eased and I realised the value of open discussion.
02:01 PM on 12/18/2012
Perhaps the article is written in a way that may indicate no particular compassion with the victims, but as someone who could be considered to have been abused as a young boy by an older man (fortunately my parents were smart enough to realise something was going on before it escalated to a more serious level) I tend to agree. Keep it in the past. No good can come from revealing all now, the alleged perpetrator is dead, he can't be made to answer for what he did. I can't say what happened to me didn't affect me, but I couldn't see any point in dragging it all up again now other than to upset myself about it.
05:47 PM on 12/18/2012
You don't see the point do you??? You were believed and protected as far as was possible. The people we are talking about weren't.You are different to and much luckier than them. Therapy can be very upsetting but if you need it, the end result is much better than covering it over. IF you feel you need it - if you don't then fine,it is up to you,just as it is up to those concerned to do what they feel they want to.The point is that the world believes you...it makes a difference and NO ONE should be making comment like the above article...it's just nasty and selfish.
12:55 PM on 12/18/2012
Surly its a crime to tell people to cover up crimes. Even the police have savile and others as part of its investigation yew tree. The others would surely appreciate this Especially since this is linked by sky news. This should be removed immediately and anyone connected to this obvious damage limitation exercise should be thoroughly investigated.
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Tony Mckenna
11:00 AM on 12/05/2012
i wrote a critical response to this article here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/tony-mckenna/jimmy-savile-gets-spked_b_2227152.html
08:36 AM on 12/05/2012
If you got the message from this article, (many obviously haven't), it isn't a `Shut up and get a life' instruction! It is pointing to a better way of dealing with a past trauma. Going `public' to the press or other media, will only make a suffering victim of abuse `front page news', not very helpful to a victim, but a lot of sales to the media and press, as this appeals to the ghoulish members of the public, who enjoy nothing better than to dribble over pages of victims stories in the gutter press to make their day. No help there either then? Then there's celebrity run helplines, who do they help mostly then? Of course look at the credibility the Celebrity of choice makes from that then and all the victim gets is a pat on the back!! Nah!! Brendan's right, keep it quiet, BUT! make sure the victim goes to the police and makes a full statement of the incidents facts. If necessary the police will organise/recommend any counciling the victim might need, although that may be a little to late after all these years.
So come on all you people who want to pillory Brendan, READ THE ARTICLE PROPERLY!!!
11:26 PM on 12/04/2012
I find this a rather insensitive post. Rather than suggesting victims should keep quiet, Brendan O'Neil should be encouraged to not publish opinions like this. Keeping quiet in the past on this has clearly caused society more damage than good. Sweeping issues like this under the carpet helps no-one except the vile abusers.
08:18 PM on 12/04/2012
Has everyone forgotten that these are all rumours..? There isn't actually any hard proof to any of this. Him touching a young girls leg was not abuse back then, all men did it. I'm not saying it's right, but you can't look back and judge the situation by our standards. Why would any of these people come forward now? What are they going to do to the man who isn't here to defend himself? All these people are after our attention.