I used to think it was advisable, before entering marketing, to leave reality behind. Now I've realised it's essential.
Boris Johnson's election victory last week stands in stark contrast to the devastating losses for the Conservatives across the country, but it is unsurprising that London bucked the national trend.
In a world seemingly gone mad, a comedian now rules one of the greatest capital cities in the world for a second term. I am not amused.
When the history books on the 2012 London Mayoral elections are written, the Evening Standard's claim to be London's paper may not stand up to much scrutiny; unless backing the winning horse by tripping up it's opponents rates as great service.
o, London went to the polls. Or rather it didn't, because: it was a bit parky out; it might have rained; we'd run out of milk; had to get to the shops; who could be arsed; it was the same old people; oh, was it on Thursday?
The Conservative mayoral incumbent Boris Johnson has bucked a national trend that yesterday saw the electorate shift to the left and in doing so trumped the labour challenger, Ken Livingstone by 62,000 votes.
'It says here that you've got a postal vote' I say to the man offering me his polling card. 'Oh yes, I've used it' he smiles back at me. I explain gently that you can't vote twice, and he says 'oh right then, that's absolutely fine', keen to show me he's not offended.
Behind the fever of the current political crisis there is something depressing about the way revelations concerning self-serving MPs and corporate collusion have been reported as 'news'. The past few weeks have shown that power, corruption and lies (aka the blindingly obvious) need to be illuminated in neon lights before the majority of the public take notice.
I can't say I'll give anything away for this one. But I thought it might be nice to ring in the results of the London Mayoral election (due anytime in the next twelve hours) with a caption competition. Those leaving the funniest comments below will win... kudos from me! So have at it...
Our final London elections poll shows Boris Johnson defeating Ken Livingstone in the run-off vote for Mayor.
A Green Mayor, along with Greens elected on the London wide list vote (orange ballot paper) could make a huge difference to London and the UK. We will cut fares, invest in public transport and reduce traffic. We will improve green spaces and reduce pollution. We will make housing affordable and hold down rents. We will reduce the gap between rich and poor.
Having spent the last 16 weeks on the campaign trail where I have watched the dominant BorKen show up close, I'm more sure than ever that we need new voices in UK politics and much more diversity of public leaders. We need politicians who are in touch, more willing to listen, less egotistical and not stifled by inflexible party lines. We need more women, more ethnic minorities and more people with different life and professional experiences. I hope that many of you choose to give your first vote to me.
After months of campaigning, it's time for Londoners to make up their minds about which Mayor will run our city in the next four crucial years.
Londoners should ask themselves whether they want a mayor who seeks to unite or divide? Whether we need a mayor who sticks up for London or for his cronies? And if we can trust a man who says one thing and then does the opposite.
I love cycling, yes even in London... I grew up in Germany and I rode my first two-wheeler bike without stabilisers before my third birthday. The main reason I started cycling in London was because I kept running out of money for the bus.
For those of you that don't read Polly Toynbee on a regular basis, Dr Eoin Clarke's blog, the Green Benches, is a poor man's version