Leaving hospital I can't help but notice a difference in me; I've lost a lot of strength and really struggle to climb the stairs. I'm very, very tired. Then the dark thoughts start swirling around my mind - is this ever going to get better? Is this now the beginning of the end that I keep talking about? Has my determination finally run out? Can I feel the fingers of death on the edge of my consciousness?
Boobs. Knockers. Jubblies. Funbags. Mosquito bites. Fried eggs. Wind socks. If you're a woman you'll have had a set of these at some stage of your life. Whether you're hung like Katie Price or as flat as a waifish super-model, you'll have fretted over whether they were too big, too small, too saggy, too pert, nipples too dark, too light, too saucerish, too small.
Recently I've had whole brain radiotherapy, which wasn't too bad and so far has really worked! Lots of the numb parts of my face have feeling again and the headaches have gone. So even though my fluffy hair has fallen out again I'm happy I had it. Now the boring 'sick person' bit is over with, I'll tell you all about my adventures!
For me, breast cancer is both personal and professional. My sister, Adrienne, has breast cancer. Adrienne's cancer has spread to her bones, known as secondary breast cancer, for which there is currently no cure.
So it's happened then. The moment I have spent the last three and a half years running away from has happened. The moment when the doctor says the chemotherapy isn't working anymore and there are no more options left. The moment when you are signed off to let nature take its course.
We've made great progress in overcoming breast cancer in the last 20 years, but there is still much more to do as it is still the most common form of cancer. With Walk the Walk's generosity we can continue to fund vital projects to ensure that more lives are saved from breast cancer in the future.
My life has changed forever now. My life is being in bed or on the sofa. It's having friends visit for a few hours a day to keep me company. It's having relatives stay to give me a break from having to look after myself. Sure, life doesn't look like what it used to, but it's still a life.
This wonderful occasion gives us the opportunity to thank just a few of our many supporters for their outstanding achievements and dedicated support over the past year, and is, without doubt, one of my favourite events in the Breast Cancer Campaign calendar.
My cancer journey has been going on for 10 years now. When it started I was just getting into the frame of mind of having serious relationships; getting married and having children. As things have turned out, I've had to sit on the sidelines watching my friends do it instead. After I was diagnosed I knew I would never have children.
I'm at a very tough stage as the cancer recently spread further in my bones and liver and also took up residency in my lungs again. Add to that the fact that my body is so weak from constant chemotherapy for over a year, the need to control the cancer is more vital than ever. If this current chemotherapy doesn't work, my options become very limited.
In a world where everyone is so busy and constantly on the go, it's very rare that we get to stop and think about the things that are important to us. Last week, it was refreshing to see a campaign which cut through the noise and saw people come together to take action for a very worthy cause.
Tell me I'm overreacting if you want, but I'm not a fan of any trend that makes people feel worse about their body image, no matter how much money it raises. Let's stop selling out our sisters and disregarding their thoughts and feelings, and instead start doing something productive to raise awareness.
Comparing the braveness of going through cancer against uploading a selfie with no make-up on misses the point of the campaign completely - the two are nowhere near on the same scale, and I highly doubt anyone is arguing that it is. This campaign isn't about getting people to truly feel what it's like to have cancer, it's about a wider group of people trying to help those who have been diagnosed.
Why are people angry that women who've posted have received 'natural beauty' acclamations from friends and strangers? Personally I think if women want to congratulate one another on their collective natural beauty this can only be a step in the right direction of mutual support and love
This morning, pre morning Yorkshire cuppa & in my PJs, I uploaded my bare face to Facebook. Despite my timeline being peppered with contemptuous comments that everyone who takes part is a lazy 'slacktivist', yes, I jumped on the #nomakeupselfie social media bandwagon. Why? Several reasons.
"Here's a picture of me. Beautiful. Bare-faced. Make-up free. Like it. Share it. Validate me. Do the same and I'll validate you. Go on, take a selfie. It's for a good cause LOL!" Tell me, what is the good cause? Who exactly is this benefitting other than the person in the picture, who will undoubtedly be swathed with social endorsements of her natural beauty?