Yes, Kate may be Royal. Yes, she may have a number of Royal advantages at her finger tips (that the rest of us don't) and, yes, she did look bloody gorgeous just hours after having her baby, but so the hell what?!
I hear your elder brother George is quite a big deal. My big sister, Freyja, is too. At least that is what it feels like sometimes. For a start, she had a baby book which is at least partly filled in. Mine is completely blank. I am not even sure if my parents have even opened it.
I was bloody lucky with my first son, he slept through the night from about 3.5 months and still does 12 hour stints now. People have often asked me for my secret to success and my reply? Er, I don't know, he just did it.
It's no one's fault that I have the issues that I do and that on some days I feel like the worst mum in the world but I'm also of the opinion that people should think for a few seconds before opening their mouths to pass comment about people that they don't know.
I'm going to make a sweeping generalisation here, but most new mums I know are not ready to let their new little person out of their sight. Hell it's traumatic leaving them to go for a wee. We check them every two minutes to make sure they are still breathing. There's no way on this earth that you are taking my new-born baby out into the big wide world and away from me.
Unsightly body hair however is just the tip of the ice berg, breastfeeding has proved to be rather more difficult than I imagined and not at all like the glossy photo of mother and baby in posters and pamphlets that were dotted around the hospital throughout my pregnancy.
My idea of what my pregnancy would be like in no way matched up with the reality of extreme morning sickness, SPD and an inability to cope with life in general. Being pregnant didn't help me to work through my issues, it magnified them to the extent that most days I struggled to get out of bed.
I found anything to do with planning for Squidge's arrival incredibly difficult and stressful but in hindsight I'm glad that I made the plans that I did. These are are the things that I learned from making my own birth plan and from making preparations at home.
My hormones were wonky. We had a lot going on. I was on my own with three small kids, through no one's fault. These unfortunate circumstances were a catalyst for an illness I possibly would have got anyway. Because of the flipping, wonky hormones. Circumstances just forced its hand.
With your first child you can't wait to reach the big milestones. We rush to wean onto food, impatiently anticipate their first word and step, even look forward to that first painful tooth popping up.
I love being a mum but that doesn't mean it's all been a breeze. The thing is, I've suffered with anxiety and maternal OCD and I think that isolating myself from other mums has actually just allowed those things to take a stronger hold.
Once I was ambivalent about motherhood, my life was beautiful yet terrible, an enormous experience and I needed, wanted nothing else to make it more. But somewhere on my journey, I realized that I was denying myself motherhood not because I didn't want children, but because I didn't trust myself to do a good job.
It's probably nothing, probably just some tick of genetics she will grow out of as she settles into her new world. But Dr Internet tells us that it might be something, might mean too that we're wrong to think that the orphanage treated her well.
I find many parents stop the nap altogether around age two to two and a half or if their child goes to pre-school but this is actually very young to stop napping. 95% of children actually still need some form of daytime nap until age three and a half or even four years!
Nobody needs to normalise a normal thing. We need to stop making such a fuss over normal things. The tireless campaigns are making breastfeeding into an abnormal spectacle. It isn't normal to parade breastfeeding.
If you look around, you'll spot many families with two or more children. Having a new baby in the family can feel a bit strange to start with, but here are some tips that have helped many children your age, and their parents at this exciting time.