How do you know you're really ready to be a parent? Is there a point in life where it clicks in your head and says "Yes, now you've ticked all the boxes so here you go, one child coming up!"? Or are we ever really ready for all the different things that come with being pregnant, giving birth and raising a child?
There is a reason dry shampoo was invented, however, this reason always eluded me pre-baby with me saying ludicrous sentences like "Why would I need dry shampoo? I will just wash my hair if its dirty!" Oh the unadulterated bliss of having time to wash anything but someone else ass.
Resentful that the hordes of visitors are infinitely more interested in the baby than you, even though YOU'RE THE ONE THAT DID THE AGONY? That's OK. You're still a good mother.
I am not pinning my hopes on this baby arriving on time! I am however, slowly but surely getting the house together and sorting things out in preparation for the little ones arrival. So starting with the hospital bag, I wanted to share with you what I would be packing.
Baby showers might be a fairly recent trend in the UK, but there are so many online sites catering for this celebration that really make the day personal for the new 'mum to be'.
It wouldn't be hard to fit a fold down table in most male rest-rooms (not sure I'd want to rest in one), provide a plastic yellow bin (with those special lids) and allow men the dignity of changing their baby in their own sexes toilet.
One of the biggest expenses you'll face when your little bundle of joy enters the world is a new travel system. After several unsuccessful purchases, I can now say with total confidence that what I am about to tell you should be at the forefront of your decision making process when choosing your buggy!
If men and women share parenting, so that they are equally likely to take extended parental leave, and need to accommodate childcare arrangements, then the departure of mothers on maternity leave stops being a sexist problem.
We have all been there fit to bursting, rubbing our fast expanding tummy and hanging off every last detail from a mum painting the story of her birth ...
So being a 'Bag Girl' myself, choosing my first ever nappy bag was up there with the most exciting purchases made during my baby shopping frenzy back ...
I'm not joking about the trauma by the way; feeding a newborn at mealtime - and my babies always needed to be fed at mealtimes, it was a frickin gift of theirs - usually involved staring at plates of rapidly cooling food that needed more hands than I had free.
As a new parent you may feel assailed by worries that a few months before might not have occurred to you. Cool as a cucumber pre-children, you are reduced to a jangle of nerves and fears at the thought of leaving the house (traffic! accidents!) or seeing friends (infectious diseases!).
Anyway, I believe we (men, dads, uncles, grandads) should get more pro-active at this matter. Let's bring some genuine equality into our homes and show that fathers of the new generation are just awesome. So gents, it's about time to pull up our sleeves and to get busy there.
I don't tend to get much advice from my grandfather these days. However I did get some from him recently. Which is odd. And not just because he died in 1999. It was odd because the advice was about caring for a baby. This is not a task with which I associate him.
Have you met new parents? I really can't tell the difference between them or crack addicts. In fact, I'm convinced they're the same. Bloodshot eyes, pale skin, always say stuff like; "it's really great you should try it". They don't realise how desperately unhappy they are.
I just hope for my son and for any more children that we may be blessed with, that their role models are more Mo Farah and less Mark Wright. From what I can gather from social networking this is how we are all feeling