In true fashion, Twitter ripped it to shreds.
Obviously everyone pointed out how evil he always looks:
Some foresaw partisan opposition bashing:
— Sam Turner (@samjturner) December 3, 2014
(And they were right)
Oh good. Osbourne using his #autumnstatement to score cheap party points. This is what the people needed to hear.— Mark (@2ndYellow) December 3, 2014
While others just rolled out jokes about how hungover he looked in PMQs last week:
Really I expect Osborne to roll in pissed and say "I just sold the NHS to Lord Sugar and Richard Branson. Blow me." #AutumnStatement— Fourfoot (@fourfoot) December 3, 2014
Or jokes about how bloody annoying he is:
George Osborne's signature mix of reedy voice, petulant tone and monotonous delivery makes me want to eat my own head. #AutumnStatement— Jon Harvey (@jondharvey) December 3, 2014
That petulant tone did seem to be sending Danny Alexander to sleep...
Still, at least there were some positive cuts made:
We've cut the bullshit deficit by a third #AutumnStatement— George Osborne (@George0sborne) December 3, 2014
Just in case we needed to point it out, this is from a parody account:
- Autumn Statement 2014: 9 Seriously Awkward Graphs Osborne Does Not Want You To See
- Autumn Statement 2014: Barely Any Of You Think Osborne Has Tackled The Deficit
Some tweeters gave Osborne a bit more credit than he's due, he's not exactly Derren Brown.
Autumn statement today. Pay attention to what Osborne DOESN'T say. #sleightofhand— CaptFlack (@CaptFlack) December 3, 2014
While others weren't too sure about his adding up.
George Osborne: "I know these figures are correct. I made them all up myself."December 3, 2014
At least he started tackling the Conservative Party's biggest enemy:
But he did starting gasping a bit halfway through.
I think Osborne's voice is going...#AutumnStatement— Peter Wasson (@weterpasson) December 3, 2014
Seriously George, take a breather, you're spraying everywhere.
A few people started putting words in his mouth when he couldn't get them out:
The biggest problem for some though was the Chancellor's incessant desire to crack jokes.
Please stop trying to do jokes. #AutumnStatement— orcashrams (@orcashrams) December 3, 2014
True to form, Ed Balls started to go red a few seconds after standing up.
There was quite a lot of concern over the ambiguous colour of the Chancellor's tie, which may render a few bets void. Is it silver, charcoal, green, blue? No one can really agree.
What colour tie is George Osborne wearing? There are literally tens of pounds riding on this. #AutumnStatement— Ladbrokes Politics (@LadPolitics) December 3, 2014
who called charcoal for the Chancellor's tie colour then? Morbid sign of things to come? #AutumnStatement— Charlie Thomas (@Insider_Charlie) December 3, 2014
Will George's tie be the only 'green' item in the #AutumnStatement?— Liam Creedon (@liamcreedon) December 3, 2014
Some people would've preferred an Autumn Fashion Statement.
#AutumnStatement Osborne's Autumn Statement is a daring combination of woolen dungarees, a sheepskin jacket and a pink leatherette tie— Billy Gannon (@gongfarmer) December 3, 2014
Maybe a little number like this:
Others would have preferred Osborne being sent to Mars to find the intelligent life he was joking about:
Some tweeters were happy to keep things light:
Autumn Statement ? It's December !— alan swan (@alanswan4) December 3, 2014
While some people just had to be all serious about it.
Watch out for 'code' words #AutumnStatement
"Pledge" -won't do it
"Growth" for corporates/rich
"Real Terms" our terms
"Business" corporates— Scarlet Wilde (@wilde) December 3, 2014
'Despite our best efforts, some poor or disabled people are still alive and not homeless. We will address this urgently.' #AutumnStatement— chiller (@chiller) December 3, 2014
But mostly, the British people were just playing the Autumn Statement Drinking Game.
"Warning lights flashing" drink— Harry Hodges (@HJ_Hodges) December 3, 2014