Parents Discuss The Reasons They Aren't Doing Santa For Their Children

'We don’t do Santa as my son was utterly terrified of him.'

Parents are discussing why they aren’t doing Santa for their kids, after one mum said she didn’t like the idea of “lying” to her son.

The Mumsnet user said her son is 18 months and she and her partner have decided not to do Father Christmas, but will still get him presents.

“I’m wondering how we could play this and how we explain it without making him think he’s missing out when, for some reason, Santa is visiting other children and not him,” she wrote on 14 December.

“Anyone got any experience or ideas?” 

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AleksandarNakic via Getty Images
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Mumsnet

Parents who are doing Santa for their children initially expressed their disagreement to the mum’s Christmas plans.

“I think it’s such a shame to deny a child the magical feeling of a visit from Father Christmas,” one person wrote. “My fondest childhood memories are of Christmas Eve, leaving carrots and mince pies and the pure excitement of going to bed. I can honestly say I never felt lied to.

“I would be more disappointed now as an adult if my parents hadn’t gone along with the Father Christmas charade.”

Another wrote: “I think you’re looking at it all wrong. Do you not believe in white lies? Santa is a beautiful lie if you must look at it like that. The excitement and joy it can bring as well as teaching the gift of giving.”

However parents who aren’t doing Santa for their kids discussed and defended their decision. 

“We won’t be doing Father Christmas for our two-year-old daughter,” one mum wrote. “If it comes up I’ll just say it’s a story. I really don’t think feeling ‘excluded’ will be an issue - they’ll still get all the many other nice things about Christmas.

“So far the only time anything to do with it has come up is in talking about her advent calendar. I said that she gets to open one drawer each day to help us count down to Christmas and when all the drawers are finished it’s Christmas and she’ll get a big present because on Christmas we give gifts to the people we love.” 

“If 'Santa' comes up I’ll just say it’s a story. I really don’t think feeling ‘excluded’ will be an issue."”

- Mumsnet user.

Another mum explained that she hasn’t done Santa before as it freaked her son out. “We didn’t do Father Christmas with our oldest as it freaked him out, and he hated the idea of it,” she wrote. 

“We just said to people that we don’t do it and mum and dad do stockings. We always said that Father Christmas comes to other children though, if they’d like him to, so not spoiling anyone else’s magic.

“It was never a big deal. Once I explained to people they were very supportive.
Whatever you choose to do, if you choose to explain it to to others, you must do very confidently with a big smile.”

And another mum could relate to having children who were scared of Santa.

“We don’t do Santa as my son was utterly terrified of him so we told him it is a game that people play,” she wrote.

“We said lots of children love to believe in Santa because they find it fun and it makes Christmas even more exciting and magical. He plays along with his friends at school because he is a very kind boy and understands that it wouldn’t be nice to spoil other people’s fun.”

Before You Go

Christmas Gifts For Kids
Wooden Kitchen Playset(01 of30)
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Aldi's wooden toy range has been a hit this year, and they've still got products available for Christmas. Let kids make you "breakfast" in bed, without any mess.
Suitable for children aged three and over.
Price: £17.99.
Buy: Aldi, in-store only.
(credit:Aldi)
Real Den Adventure Kit(02 of30)
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This kit has everything your kids will need to build a real den - anywhere.
Suitable for kids aged eight and above.
Price: £34.95.
Buy here.
(credit:Flibberty)
My 1st Smartphone(03 of30)
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Whether we like it or not, our little ones will see us on our phones. Get your toddler their very own wooden smartphone with makeshift earphones.
Suitable for children aged three and above.
Price: £12.
Buy here.
(credit:KIDLY)
Ice Cream Mug(04 of30)
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Surely ensuring your kids get their recommended daily water intake is *much* more fun when drunk out of an ice cream cup?
Recommended age not stated.
Price: £10.99.
Buy here.
(credit:OhDeer)
Playmobil Vet Clinic(05 of30)
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No gift guide is complete without a Playmobil present, and this bargain gift comes with a set-up vet clinic as well as a carry case for just £9.99. Not bad.
Suitable for kids aged four and above.
Price: £9.99.
Buy here.
(credit:Playmobil)
Lego Yellow Submarine(06 of30)
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Introduce your kids to the Beatles... and then buy this Lego Yellow Submarine. It even comes with four minifigures: John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr.
Suitable for ages 10 and above.
Price: £54.99.
Buy here.
(credit:LEGO)
Fingerlings(07 of30)
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These creatures that balance on fingers seemed to have been dubbed the hottest toy this year - and thankfully you can grab them for under 15 quid.
Suitable for ages five and over.
Price: £14.99.
Buy here.
(credit:Argos)
Design Your Own Comic Book(08 of30)
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Let your kids get imaginative and crafty with this activity pack to design their own superhero comic book. We sort of want one too.
Suitable for kids aged seven and above.
Price: £9.95.
Buy here.
(credit:CuckooLand)
Magical Fairy Garden(09 of30)
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A great project for children in the new year: They follow the guide to learn how to construct their own miniature cottage and living garden.
Suitable for children aged four and above.
Price: £16.95.
Buy here.
(credit:Wicked Uncle)
Doodle Socks(10 of30)
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We're constantly telling little ones to stop drawing on anything other than paper - but now it's time to do the opposite. These doodle socks let children personalise them how they want.
Suitable for children aged five and above.
Price: £15.29.
Buy here.
(credit:BrightMinds)
Personalised Xylophone(11 of30)
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Get a child's name transcribed onto their first ever instrument (and be prepared for the noise to follow).
Suitable for kids aged three and above.
Price: £12.10.
Buy here.
(credit:Notonthehighstreet)
Hatchimals ColleGGTibles(12 of30)
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It was the toy that dominated 2016 and now they are back, cheaper, and available to buy. The mini Hatchimals come in small speckled eggs.
Suitable for children aged five and over.
Price: £2.99.
Buy here.
(credit:Hatchimals)
Keepsake Storybook(13 of30)
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Be warned: It *might* end up being one of those books that you read over and over again.
Suitable for children aged two to eight.
Price: £15.96.
Buy here.
(credit:MyMagicName)
DIY Unicorn Kit(14 of30)
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Because let's be honest, who doesn't want to be a unicorn?
Suitable for kids aged 14 and above.
Price: £12.95.
Buy here.
(credit:Etsy)
Paw Patrol Activity Desk(15 of30)
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Fans of 'Paw Patrol' will love the opportunity to draw alongside their favourite characters.
Suitable for ages three to six.
Price: £12.50.
Buy here.
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SoundMoovz(16 of30)
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A new gadget for older kids, where you make music by moving - rather than moving to the music.
Suitable from children aged eight and above.
Price: £39.99.
Buy here.
(credit:SoundMoovz)
Personalised Toy Set(17 of30)
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This soft sculptured tool set offers no-hurt fun - got any DIY to be getting on with?
Suitable for kids aged 12 months and above.
Price: £38.
Buy here.
(credit:Jolly Fine)
Zoo Apron(18 of30)
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Inspire kids to cook with this brightly-coloured apron, but be prepared for the mess!
Age recommendation not stated.
Price: £10.
Buy here.
(credit:Dunelm)
Monkey Pins(19 of30)
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A perfect indoor game to play with the little ones on Christmas day.
Suitable for kids aged three and above.
Price: £5.80.
Buy here.
(credit:Amazon)
Moana Doll(20 of30)
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Moana has to be up there as one of everyone's favourite Disney characters this year.
Suitable for ages 36 months to seven years.
Price: £24.99.
Buy here.
(credit:Amazon)
Whizz World Train Station(21 of30)
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With sounds and bright colours, toddlers will have a whale of a time with their new train set.
Suitable for kids from 12 months and above.
Price: £20.
Buy here.
(credit:ELC)
Bath Toy Sea Plane(22 of30)
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Your kids can let the sea plane ride the water, making bath time so much more fun.
Suitable for ages one and above.
Price: £13.50.
Buy here.
(credit:AdventureToys)
Wooden Stationery Set(23 of30)
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This 75-piece set has everything a kid needs to create their very own masterpiece.
Age recommendation not stated.
Price: £10.
Buy here.
(credit:TheWorks)
Dinosaur Projector(24 of30)
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Any dinosaur fans? This projector shares images of kids' favourite dinosaurs onto walls and ceilings.
Suitable for children aged three to 10.
Price: £9.99.
Buy here.
(credit:ToysruS)
Monster Backpack(25 of30)
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An ideal gift for kids to keep their cuddly toys, snacks, drinks and other essential items safe.
Suitable for ages two to five.
Price: £12.98.
Buy here.
(credit:Tesco)
Glow In The Dark Tape(26 of30)
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Stick this tape anywhere to make magical glow-in-the-dark lines when the lights are switched off.
Recommended age not stated.
Price: £8.99.
Buy here.
(credit:PresentFinder)
2 In 1 World Globe(27 of30)
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As well as having a normal globe, where kids can point out countries and capital cities, this globe also has a night function (doubling up as a night light) showing the earth as seen from space, with colour-changing LEDs.
Suitable for ages eight and above.
Price: £32.99.
Buy here.
(credit:Argos)
Soothe And Glow Seahorse(28 of30)
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When this seahorse is cuddled, the belly gently glows and plays five minutes of music and ocean sounds. It then gradually fades out.
Suitable from birth.
Price: £14.99.
Buy here.
(credit:FisherPrice)
VTech Kidizoom Duo Camera(29 of30)
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Give your kids the role of photographer for the day with their own snazzy camera. The back has a digital display so they can see what photos they've taken, a front camera to take selfies, and the ability to add fun effects, stamps and frames.
Suitable for ages three and above.
Price: £39.74.
Buy here.
(credit:TheEntertainer)
Glittery Space Dough(30 of30)
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It's not just any old dough, it's glittery "super space" dough - made from natural ingredients - that comes with a star-shaped cutter (and yes, the sequin stars are included, too).
Suitable for children ages three and above.
Price: £5.95.
Buy here.
(credit:Notonthehighstreet)