All The Things That Were Supposed To Happen On Brexit Day But Didn't

WARNING: Contains nipples and scenes of the apocalypse.

It’s 31 October, aka Brexit Day and it’s absolute carnage out there.

Toddlers are looting Tesco stores...

Tea supplies are at critical levels...

And at the coast near Liverpool, some have simply had enough...

Only jesting, everything is pretty much normal – well, as normal as things can be in 2019.

And yes, it is Halloween and the UK is still in the EU despite the best efforts of Boris Johnson (more on him later).

So what better time to hark back to some of the promises and predictions made by some notable figures about what would happen today.

1) Tea, Farage and Nipples

This quintessentially Brexit Britain and utterly horrifying combo was promised to us by disgraced former columnist Katie Hopkins, who earlier this month caused a pre-winter chill to spread across the nation with the following tweet.

Now it is only around midday but so far there has been no sign of said Brex-rated sight and Hopkins is currently tweeting about female MPs being “embarrassing”.

UPDATE: Oh no, it might be happening.

2) Mark Francois’ Apocalypse

Mark Francois bloody loves Brexit and has been all over the TV this month explaining just why he is so keen.

You may remember him telling Sky News that he wants to “to live in a free country, that elects its own government, and makes its own laws, and then lives under those laws in peace” despite being a freely elected politician living peacefully in a country that makes its own laws.

mammuth via Getty Images

And last month he made a very bold prediction about what would happen in Brexit didn’t happen as planned – the entire country would “explode”.

At the time of writing, HuffPost UK’s day is yet to be interrupted by flames, concussion waves or any other physical phenomenon normally associated with death by explosion.

3) The Ditch

And we end with the biggie – Boris Johnson’s much-vaunted declaration that he would rather be “dead in a ditch” than ask the EU for a Brexit extension.

Stay tuned for updates on these three scenarios, unless of course Francois turns out to be right in which case good luck to all the survivors who will, ironically, probably have to move to the EU.