NEWS
26/12/2019 07:00 GMT | Updated 26/12/2019 14:18 GMT

9 Times British Politics Was So Absurd In 2019, You Laughed And Then Wept With Despair

At least 2020 can't be any worse, right?

1. Jo Swinson the squirrel killer

The Lib Dems didn’t achieve much this year but at least leader Jo Swinson can lay claim to being the victim of the year’s weirdest fake news scandal.

In November she was forced to deny that she had a side gig in murdering squirrels after doctored images claiming to show an article on the Mirror’s website were shared thousands of times across Twitter and Facebook, including by a number of pro-Brexit and Brexit Party groups.

Twitter
Twitter

Oh well, at least she had a sense of humour about the whole affair.

2. David Cameron talks to a tree on live TV

No further information required tbh.

3. Boris Johnson hides in a fridge

Rather than face public scrutiny in the run-up to the general election, Boris Johnson went to some extraordinary lengths to avoid taking journalists’ questions.

This was encapsulated perfectly just this month when he was ambushed by Jonathan Swain, a reporter from ITV’s Good Morning Britain (GMB), who asked him to live up to his promise to give an interview to the programme.

One of Johnson’s aides can then be seen saying “oh for f***s sake* while GMB co-host Susanna Reid remarks about the “look on his face”.

Johnson is then asked by Swain: “Why don’t you have five minutes? You’re live on Good Morning Britain, I’ve got Piers [Morgan] and Susanna with me.”

Johnson replied: “I’ll be with you in a minute,” before being ushered into a walk-in fridge.

4. Will Self’s death stare at Mark Francois 

Writer Will Self and Tory MP Mark Francois appeared nearly to come to blows in May over the only thing British people seem to argue about anymore – Brexit, of course. 

Just watch the escalating rage of Francois and the barely restrained glee of Self.

5. And while we’re on the topic of Mark Francois...

This entire piece could have consisted solely of his travails this year.

Most notable, perhaps, was when he appeared to completely misunderstand the very nature of the country in which he lived to such a degree you’d be forgiven for asking if he even knows what his day job actually is.

Francois appeared on Sky News in October to extol the virtues of Brexit to host Adam Boulton, saying: “We want to live in a free country, that elects its own government, and makes its own laws, and then lives under those laws in peace.”

A perplexed Boulton interjected by saying: “We already are.” But Francois was not to be deterred, backing up his claim with the absolute solid argument of: “I don’t think we are.”

HuffPost UK understands that Mark is fully aware that he British, is currently in Britain and does in fact represent a constituency of Brits in the British halls of British political power.

6. Labour’s Mark Francois

This is of course, Richard Burgon, who had so many terrible moments in 2019 it’s hard to narrow them down into a list that isn’t solely dedicated to him.

After much consideration, HuffPost UK has chosen an incredible interview with Kay Burley who with no effort whatsoever delivered a two-word mauling that left viewers in awe.

It was in October when Burgon was calling for a general election and the conversation went like this...

Burley: “The polls say you won’t win.”

Burgon: “The polls said we wouldn’t win last time.”

Burley: “You didn’t.”

Oof.

7. Boris buses

No, not those buses. The model buses that Boris Johnson makes in order to relax.

We’re not making this up. Just listen.

8. This spectacular Tory doorstep backfire

Lee Anderson, Conservative candidate for Ashfield, invited a news crew along to a spontaneous and definitely not planned stop while he canvassed ahead of the general election in November.

The video below is well worth watching in full but to suffice to say it was not spontaneous in the slightest and Lee probably regretted choosing a mate with such... strong views.

9. Terrifying limbless chickens

For some unfathomable reason, Boris Johnson saved his most absolutely batshit comments for the biggest stage of all – the UN.

“Your mattress will monitor your nightmares.”

“Pink-eyed terminators sent back from the future.”

“Punished by the gods.”

All things said by our actual PM. At the UN. Good lord. Here’s Michael Spicer’s take on it so at least you can laugh at it before the terrible reality sets in and you begin to weep.

Happy new year, everyone.