children of divorce
I feel the need to start with a grateful acknowledgement for the circumstances and many blessings of my post-divorce life
I divorced in 2006 at the age of 30, with two kids then aged 3 and 7. My overriding feelings were of fear and uncertainty
The last thing dads need, therefore, is LESS time being hands-on parents. If dads were given a day off work on Father's Day, it might be worth celebrating. So if you're an employer who wants to keep your workforce happy, let your dads go home early on Friday...or give them a day off on Monday. Otherwise, let's see Father's Day for what it is: a wasted opportunity.
Try to do this with mediation rather than litigation. If you can manage it this way, you're more likely to be able to have an amicable relationship afterwards, which is pretty mission critical to coparenting. It also just costs far less money. If money isn't really an issue, then litigation might be necessary, but if you can mediate, I recommend trying it.
Having children changes your life in so many ways, not least because you acquire a protective instinct that makes you want to protect them from harm or hurt. I remember feeling this protectiveness instantly when my first child was born.
Parents have to find a way to discuss these and other parentings issues and protect their children from acrimony and avoidable hurt and loss. Mediation creates a safe and neutral place for these conversations to take place. Furthermore, the mediator is highly trained and experienced in facilitating their much needed conversations and can help with formulating new boundaries and ways of communicating and planning that work.
Millions of TV viewers are currently seeing a glimpse of a hidden, private side of divorce, as BBC Two's 'Mr v Mrs: Call The Mediator' lifts the lid on separated couples trying to sort future arrangements.
If you are thinking about a divorce, your head will be full of worries about the future. Will you be able to afford two households? Who gets what? And how on earth do you "share the children"? The last thing you want is uncertainty about the divorce procedure. Do you instruct a solicitor or do you come to a mediator? Here is a brief overview of the best possible use of both since the two approaches complement each other.
I honestly don't think people are intending to mess up their children when going through divorce and certainly if you are reading this then I applaud you for wanting to make the best out of a bad situation for your kids. However, 9 times out of 10, people mess up and the children are the ones who get the brunt of it. Here are some basic No-No's to avoid.
I have always believed that the act of writing is, and always will be, an act of courage and defiance - regardless of how