‘Monogamy Is a perfectly fine...It doesn't happen to work for me’: Co-Author Of The Ethical Slut On Open Relationships
Janet Hardy is co-Author of The Ethical Slut, a book about open and polyamorous relationships that has sold over 250,000 copies. In this video Hardy gives a brief “good rule of thumb” to follow if you are thinking about non monogamous relationships.
Naturally non-monogamous people have struggled to stay faithful, despite good intentions. Cheating was always the solution...
'We set up a lot of ground rules.'
An open relationship or open marriage is where both partners agree they can have sexual relations with other people outside
I hate that it's more or less an enforced binary structure - to be single and dating, or together and exclusive. I hate that there are plenty of people who don't actively consent to monogamy, who are not happy in monogamy, but through society pressure and lack of information, unwittingly follow the prescribed norm hoping for that illusive happy ever after.
In an open relationship you have experiences which are a rarity in other people's lives. You welcome jealousy as a teacher. You challenge what a relationship really means. But the questions that are asked and answered in the polyamorous literature rarely cover the topic... what to do when your boyfriend is grieving the loss of his lover.
It was in March of this year when Jenny Block, celebrated author of Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, wrote a
Four months ago I met a JLo woman. She's a ten. Oh, is she a ten. I've seen her in her pyjamas and no makeup. She's still a ten. She's my boyfriend's new love.
Some people do have aggressive communication strategies, which will alienate others, generate fear and tend to blame others rather than taking responsibility for their own issues. But direct does not have to be aggressive. Nor should you assume it since this in itself can create a self fulfilling prophecy. Direct can also be compassionate.
There's a rumour going around, propagated by [some] polyamorists, that polyamory is a superior ideology to monogamy. Let's face it, 'limitless love' does sound wholly honorable and blissful, even if 'limitless sex' with multiple partners sounds ~ for most of our sex-negative society ~ quite the opposite.