If those FT headlines are getting you down and the Times has left you feeling a bit hopeless, why not lower your brow and enjoy our awards for the very best of all the rest?
Creative people. You know them. They sit around in warehouse conversions writing things or editing videos in the middle of the night. Or they slouch around in cafes, talking... wearing a fez.
Fox New's freedom loving hetro Don Ronson bravely reports on the Occupy The Stock Exchange movement from London, England, Britain. Braving the seething proto-fascist hippy sludge he crawls deep inside the news to get to the pulsating heart of the story and deliver you the truth alive and unwashed.
This week I asked seven of Britain's foremost media go-getters to choose between television's current top reality shows. Unfortunately they were busy. But these hacks had some spare time to share their opinions instead.
In the 50 years since Richard Ingrams co-founded the satirical fortnightly news magazine Private Eye, the publication has
In Brideshead Revisited, which is suffused with sex, the only mention of breasts refers to slices of chicken, breast pockets and Lord Marchmain's breast as he makes the sign of the cross. The solitary reference to thighs is when a man breaks one of his on board ship after falling over while drunk.
Let's cut to the chase - I don't want to beat about the bush or mince my words - It's time to step up to the plate and have a heads-up with the nest of vipers that is the can of worms that is Plain English.
Speculation is rife that, rather than biting the bullet and choosing between putting either BBC Three or BBC Four entirely out of their misery, BBC bean counters will instead try to merge both channels into one single entity.
The reason we are in such dire straits is actually much simpler than that. It is because the people through whose hands all the money in world passes are stoned out of their gourds. Specifically, they are speeding their brains out on cocaine and alcohol.
Here is a list of some of the unshocking shock revelations that have been shockingly revealed by our easily shocked British press.