So... bread... bread knowledge... 350g of butter?! Four eggs?! A single prove?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! YOU'RE ON THE LEDGE MATE, I NEED TO TALK YOU DOWN. Oh no wait, I have no idea. But these people are just as useless! Most of their bakes were shit. 'The star baker in bread bake has always gone into the final' Really? I'd be surprised if any of them make it.
Not wanting a repeat (strange that, they normally love a repeat ) of Alex Mitchell, who in 1975 supposedly shuffled off to heaven while howling hysterically at the 'Kung Fu Kapers' episode of the Goodies, they (the BBC) therefore decided that for the sake of the nation's health, they'd make the current Sitcom Season as unfunny as possible.
I'm sure you have a knowing grin on your face already having just read the title of this piece. What is with the Hollywood portrayal of birth? I mean lets face it, there's not a lot of glamour involved. I thought I would look at some common movie-birth themes, and compare them with a dash of reality.
Comedy is a weird one. One minute you're performing to 12 people (8 of whom are comedians) in a room above a pub in Leicester Square with no microphone, no stage lights and a potted plant as a set piece and five years and a lot of miles later you can sell out your own show at The Lowry. Then, if you get super lucky, you get to do some TV.
A colleague suggested that the best starting point would be to use a free online service to prepare 'auto-detect' subtitles, which could then be proof-read and edited before being exported and attached to the new version of the movie for Amazon. This seemed like a damn good starting point. It worked! Well, it sort of worked.
I'm recently fallen victim to a profound, life-changing affliction; one that has shaken my being to its very core. It's one that affect millions of people every year and, due to its sensitive nature, is often not discussed. Well, I'm no longer prepared to be a silent victim. I recently ate some less-than-perfect chicken nuggets and subsequently, suffered a violent bout of The Squits.
Where does the female half of the species learn this unprecedented skill? Was there an open day or meeting I missed where there were a dozen prosthetic backsides all laid out in a row and covered with Nutella. I like to imagine a stern lady barking out wiping orders to an ensemble of new mothers all learning the skill that us Dad's envy.