In the real world we probably know that Jeremy Kyle isn't any more "moral" than us because he allegedly stole from his ex-wife to fund a destructive gambling habit and met his current wife after she "won" a competition on his radio station to marry a complete stranger. But hey, all that was before he was canonised by ITV to referee human bear baiting - so that's all right then.
Usually one has to tune into the Jeremy Kyle Show to hear as plentiful a flow of populist, self-righteous, ill-thought diarrhoea as that which emanated from the government yesterday. Indignation was the mot-de-jour for assorted ministers, wheeled out to express their incredulity at the latest defeat in the Lords.
I'm not Jeremy Clarkson. Let me make that absolutely clear. In fact I care not one bit for pretty much everything he says and does and his attitude, which can be summed up as, "Shut the fuck up, hippie, I'm talking," makes me wish I was a short, black lesbian working-class aristocratic motorphobe, just to be as unlike him as possible.