I wish some of the things that have been said about me this week were true. I sound like a genuine sleeper cell badass. I wish that it wasn't just my principles, beliefs and my heart that guided me last week; if I'd had a ten point plan for dastardly duplicity it might have been more fun.
For years I have fought for a Parliament that reflects the diversity of the country it represents. Thanks to the support of many in the Labour movement, I arrived as a newly elected MP just over 12 months ago. A working class woman in an institution which had far too few. I want more to follow. We should glory in our diversity and demonstrate our values of inclusivity, comradeship and tolerance. We may have differences, but we are bound together by a belief in the best of human nature.
At the end of a week that has been dominated by Westminster rumour and gossip, Friday saw a major reversal by George Osborne which will have real consequences for millions of people up and down the country... I welcome the Chancellor's u-turn, as I welcome his decision not to impose the threatened punishment austerity budget, but I am angry that it has taken blunders of this magnitude to force him to do what should have been obvious. Labour under Jeremy Corbyn has consistently advocated a different approach. A programme for reducing the government deficit through growth and investment, rather than the cuts which have proved so counter-productive.
Back in the 1960s life moved at a more sedate pace. Arguing that political fortunes could change very quickly Labour Prime Minister Harold Wilson pointed out that a week is a long time in politics. Well, move over granddad: these days we move far faster. Events move on in days, hours and sometimes minutes. We have entered an era when politics is at warp speed.
"Next time that you want to stab Caesar, make sure that you're not holding a plastic spoon". At a time when politics has become increasingly like the Thick of It, Labour's revolters may regret not heeding Malcolm Tucker's advice.
The die is cast, the ringleaders are known, their motives are nakedly obvious for all to see. The Parliamentary Labour Party coup, conceived months ago to be hatched when the timing was right, has not gone well so far. Firstly, several previous anticipated opportunities have failed to materialise. Jeremy Corbyn's Labour was fancied to lose the Oldham by-election, but it held the seat and the plotters, poised quivering and eager to pounce, had to slink frustrated back into the undergrowth.
On 23rd June over 17 million people voted in favour of the UK leaving the European Union. On that same day, over 16 million people voted to remain. That is over 33 million people that organised a proxy, walked to a post box with a postal vote or made their way to a polling station, to cast their vote and have their say.
A three-point rescue plan to help stop the housing crisis getting worse as a result of a post-Brexit shock, prevent a sharp slowdown in growth and provide some economic certainty. The Bank of England alone can't protect jobs and homes. If the Conservatives politicians can't offer economic leadership, then Labour must.
I joined the Labour Party around a year ago. I joined to shape the Labour Party into the organisation that I want it to become, the organisation that I think I could vote for - and the organisation that could win general elections, to do right by the people of this country. A year on, I do not see this party as one that I want to be part of.
Something very nasty is happening. A group of people, the most exploited within our society, are under attack. Their marginalisation has been going on for years. But it has accelerated disturbingly since 23 June.
Reflecting back on that one day of senseless slaughter helps us to look forward. This weekend people around the country will pause and think about the First World War. It is a measure of our common decency that despite WW1 being a war of history, not memory, we commemorate it. Every part of our country has its own story. Of the 16,000 towns and villages across Britain in 1914, only 40 thankful parishes would see the return by 1918 of all who had left for the conflict. The horror of that appalling loss will live on for future generations as we learn the lessons of our past.
So as the end-of-term rain hammers down outside, as the postman thinks up new and more outrageous insults as the Summer holidays go on, as the political leaders rip one another apart and as people try to figure out whether Article 50 will actually work in reality... weeks without bells and a timetable loom. Now what?
Despite all the sadness and horror, I'm going to remain a member. I'm taking a leaf out of Corbyn's book and I'm going to fight from within to save the Labour Party. We only have one chance left to get our Party back and I urge as many of you left-wing moderates out there as possible to join me, become members of the Labour Party, and do the same.
We are living through one of the greatest sea changes in British history and if the past week has been anything to go by we cannot rely on our elected officials alone to decide on what our country's future is going to be like. We have to come together, work together and decide together what our future is going to look like. We have to build it for ourselves.
I desperately want to believe that a unified Labour Party is possible, so I'll refrain from cutting up my membership card for the moment, but if the current conditions continue, I and perhaps many others may find ourselves reconsidering our positions within the party.
As a Labour member it pains me to say, that if you are disheartened about the UK exiting EU, the best thing you can do now is join the Liberal Democrats. They are the only party that alongside the Scottish National Party (SNP), offers a true coherent positive European vision and agenda