I spent at least five minutes last night trying to remember a better Champions League debut. I recall Rooney getting a hat-trick for United on his fi...
This has to be the worst Premier League title defence since, well I don't know, Chelsea last season, right? It looks like my predictions for last season might have been accurate, just a year too soon with Chelsea and City in the top two and West Ham being relegated with Leicester. I jest of course, Hull are still on track to win the league.
I thought I would break up today's column with something very, very funny for once. Yes, none of the usual tongue-in-cheek, poke fun stuff here. I am going for downright hilarious. Yaya Toure's agent has claimed both United and Arsenal are interested in his client. I'll just leave that there for a second and you can decide for yourselves whether there is any point in me continuing today. I mean, I'm not going to top that am I?
You can often get a feel for a new manager by the substitutions he makes to change a game. I'd just like to point out that Sam brought on Walcott and left Vardy, yeah you know the one that led Leicester to the Premier League title last season, on the bench. Still, he has taught Lallana to actually hit the back of the net so progress is being made, right?
In part, Mourinho's reputation plays into how the situation looks from the outside. When fans were concerned about his youth policies months before he was even appointed manager, there was always going to be some extra scrutiny afforded to his decisions.
Mourinho's United already look much more like the United of old. That knowledge of how to win potentially tricky fixtures - absent for most of Van Gaal and David Moyes' respective tenures - has returned. The players play their part, but huge credit must go to the new boss for his attitude towards the team, training, and their tactical set-up in matches.
This Saturday, the first day of the new season saw my love affair with Manchester United continue to evolve... How did I experience United's victory over Bournemouth? My wife and I took my daughter swimming. Yes, United were beginning a new campaign - but so was my daughter - she was being taught a life skill by her mummy and daddy.
As we draw closer to yet another Premier League season, the big question on everyone's lips here is: are we in for another shock season? Are we going to see another Leicester City rise up and take the crown? Or will the fabled old guard step up this season and reassert their dominance upon the league...
Football is back! It's finally back! As such, its time to dive into some predictions that will be completely forgotten after the first set of results prove them to be completely meaningless. Unless they are somehow accurate at the end of the season, in which case I will be retiring from football journalism to become a full time Paul the Octopus impersonator. I'm pretty sure there's more money in that anyway.
Pogba will form part of a central midfield pair in a 4-2-3-1 formation. He will provide the legs and the energy alongside a sitter, possibly Morgan Schneiderlin, possibly Daley Blind, occasionally 35-year-old Michael Carrick.
A side can take time to gel, but with United fans now having waited so long since Fergie's retirement to challenge for the title, I don't think Mourinho and his team will be afforded this luxury. But maybe this is the kind of pressure they can thrive under. And with this incredible talent coming in to the side, United can become a force to be reckoned with again.
I'm quite impressed with Mourinho's PR this summer. His arrival was greeted with questions about whether his inevitable sh*thousery would gel with the supposedly pristine image of Manchester United (not including Rooney and Giggs' infidelity issues, Keane's deliberate maiming of opponents and Fergie's constant whining of course). To counteract these doubts he is going out and buying any and all players with a rating of over 85 in FIFA 16.
If Mourinho can rectify what was Ferguson's greatest mistake at Manchester United, he can save the season before it starts. The pill of a potentially controversial and trophyless year is far easier to swallow when accompanied by the sugary return of a prodigal son. And not just any prodigal son, but one that could quite conceivably go on to become the best player in the world.
'No, not him, anyone but him.' Was this you when Jose Mourinho was finally confirmed as Manchester United manager in May? Because it was definitely me. The former Chelsea boss took over as a proven winner, sure, the man to restore the glory days of the Sir Alex Ferguson era. That certainly appealed to the growing army of modern 'fans' who care only for results and success.
The transfer market turned crazy a long, long time ago. Premier League clubs have nigh-on endless supplies of cash to splurge in the hunt for success, and inflation will only continue in the years to come. It's a case of supply and demand, and the latter is ever-increasing. To Manchester United, Paul Pogba is worth whatever they're willing to pay. If that's more than £100million, then so be it.
The 2016/7 Premier League season, which begins on August 13 at the KC Stadium when Leicester City head to Hull, will be great for bookmakers in the fi...