For three months you live like this, trying every night. You are getting weaker, sinking deeper and deeper into a hole of depression and despair. One Sunday you spend the whole day in the makeshift Jungle church, praying something with change, that night, you make the journey with a renewed sense of hope. Suddenly you find yourself hiding under the train. You are alone, the other boys you made the journey with have been caught and sent back. Your little body just fits in the gap between the train and the track. The train starts to move, you slide inside it and hide under a lorry.
Many Swedes regard it as a human duty for a rich country to allow those who need refuge in, no questions asked. Now the request "show me your passport" is being asked and there many more questions which need to be answered before Sweden can decide how it will cope with it's overwhelming influx of humanity.
I have been touched by the generous support offered by individuals, charities, businesses and faith organisations across Bristol, who empower us as a local authority to live up to our designation as a City of Sanctuary. However possibly the biggest and most vital international challenge is to do all we can to tackle this crisis at its source to prevent even greater disasters to come.
Since 2011, when the Syrian crisis begun, gradually developing into a civil war (nurtured by internal as well as external forces) the number of dead is estimated around 220,000. It is important to clarify that there is no way to ascertain that number. The UN ceased publishing their own estimates by 2014 as there was no way to verify the actual numbers.
Now that the dead are drowning in the sea where I spent my childhood summers, it's too close to ignore. I feel personally responsible for not shouting louder, earlier - for not failing after at least having tried. The decision of our Government was criminal. Theresa May has blood on her hands. And our silence is responsible for letting her get away with that.