Guess what, if you get the job, great, super great. You'll get to do something with other like minded folk, you might make a few pennies and get to dress up for a few days. If you don't get it, don't worry. Have some ice cream, find your mates and slag off the director and laugh about it.
As an alternative plot twist, how about the following? Matt Damon, whilst stranded on Mars, works out how much his rescue mission will cost. In a moment of enlightened self-sacrifice he realises that thousands of lives on Earth could be saved for the cost of saving him.
Justin Kurzel's 'Macbeth' is a powerful and breathtaking blood drenched cinematic force - Ridley Scott's 'The Martian' leaves Matt Damon stranded on Mars - 'Fidelio : Alice's Journey', Lucie Borleteau's feature debut examines a sexually liberated woman's journey of discovery - Marc Silver's riveting documentary '3 1/2 Minutes' relates the 'loud music' killing court case.
It's becoming an obsession, and frankly it's exhausting. On the up side, one press of a remote control buys several hours of low-level parenting: I Am Your Father, and I'm pissing off upstairs for a long bath while you watch this guff again.
7: It's only a film. You are not curing cancer, nor rescuing small children from famine or even dishing out soup to the homeless. You're stood in a North Face jacket getting pissed off because the biscuit selection is crap today. Directing is a job, but people have real jobs, people work harder and get paid much less.
Kate is one of central Middlesbrough's drug addicted, street prostitutes who sells her body for as little as £15. Fellow journalist Jack Gaskarth and I met Kate when out researching one evening. We wanted to find out how and why these woman end up on the streets and explore this via documentary film.
Though it's still business as usual for the UK film industry, changing audience demographics, tax reliefs, on-demand streaming and funding strategies are changing the day-to-day process of the way films are made and consumed in the UK.
Today may well now be a golden age for Irish film and television, with the industry in 2015 worth several hundred million pounds. Long gone are the days when programmes depicting the Troubles, which began in 1969, were filmed overseas.
'99 Homes', a tale of greed and corruption during the real estate crash is a tense and relevant drama - 'Captive' is a true story edge-of-the-seat thriller hostage drama - 'Mia Madre,' Nanni Moretti's family drama on the loss of a parent is saved by John Turturro- 'Solace' nods to 'Se7en', mixes serial killings with the supernatural but is lost in wide screen visuals.
It's in the documentary where a story's telling can be straighter, clearer and where new money can be made, as evinced by Doc'n'Roll, a new film festival that is helping to repopulate the world of the independent film-maker. All, thankfully, is not lost.
Why is the survival genre a survivor? The obvious, 'well duh' answer is that it forces us to question what we ourselves would do in an extreme situation. Or, at least, provides questions to annoy co-workers with, such as: "Would you drink your own urine just to have enough energy to saw your trapped arm off?"
The 16th September 1985 was a landmark moment for British film fans. Thirty years ago today, film went on sale on our high streets for the first ti...
Bill, a thirty-year-old husband and father of three, is having a bad time settling into a permanent job. As all classic career beginnings go, Bill is a member of a music band called Mortal Coil which he leaves after going out of tune with the other three of the band. After some deliberation on his existential crisis, Bill decides what he is...
One of the songs - The Snow and Ice Dance - was deemed by many to be suspiciously similar to Disney's Academy Award winning song. Despite the vocals being different and the lyrics being written in a different language, there are a troubling amount of similarities.
The biggest shock was to bestow the coveted Golden Lion for best film to From Afar, a Venezuelan debut by Lorenzo Vigas about a middle-aged gay man who gets involved with a potentially violent street kid. This was a brave and well-made movie but hardly the best in the competition.
At last a film at the Venice Festival that may well become a classic of its genre - Charlie Kaufman and Duke Johnson's Anomalisa. Stop motion animation was never this sophisticated, thanks to Kaufman's shrewd screenplay and Johnson's visual flair.