22/07/2013 08:49 BST | Updated 20/09/2013 06:12 BST

How to Heal...



One of my silly little personal rules when I'm overseas on a trip is that I never look at the news or read a newspaper from 'home'. It started off for no particular reason other than I had just that, no particular reason to do so but now it has become a bit of a 'thing.' But the real 'thing' that always strikes me when I return is just how much I am struck by the bad news when I do consciously re-enter the world or actually, when I let the world re-enter my consciousness.

It's a veritable assault on the senses and on my own sense of well-being and inner calm, yet nothing bad has actually happened to me or to anyone close to me. How can that be?

One of the questions I am constantly asked in my role as Life coach and head 'fixer' is 'How'?

How can I get over my fear?

How can I recover from this or that situation?

How can I get better? Can I even get better and if so... How?

And normally by the time the question is asked of me it has already been asked of a good many others before me, usually. 1. Themselves 2. Their friends 3. Their doctor. 4. Someone who 'should' know the answer. 5. God. 6. Themselves again... and so it goes on trying to get to the 'root of the problem' in order to make it go away.

Here's the fundamental problem with that kind of problem solving.

1. They don't know, well not in the state they are in anyway.

2. They don't know either.

3. They don't know either but usually try to fix the world of 'mind' with a whole world of pills.

4. They don't know but will give lots of things to 'do' to try to help.

5. He doesn't know either, he didn't create the problem.

6. They still don't know, only now they might have a few more thoughts about it and about just how messed up the now realize they really are... if only they could get to the 'root of the problem.'

The problem with this of course is that the more you think about it the more messed up it becomes, but the basic mistake you are making is trying to apply the world of form and physics to the world of your mind and thoughts.

While in the physical world more sustained effort and toil usually has a pay off. In the world of your mind and thoughts it is quite the opposite. The more you 'try' in the world of mind the more you cement the problem as being real and it's never anywhere near as real as you think it is nor does it remotely matter where the problem came from or what caused it in the first place, you are only ever one thought away from being well again.

Let me explain,

You don't have to know from who, where or how you caught a cold in order for it to go away nor do you have to do anything to make it happen, the magic of the design of we humans is that we heal all by ourselves as soon as we stop doing things that make it worse.

And it's exactly the same inside your head too. Just think about it, if you didn't think about the problem all the time would it be ever present? No, of course not because unless the source of your fear, anxiety or worry is right there in the room with you right now then it can only ever be a construction, something built up in your mind and causing you pain.

But, as soon as you realize that it's not real it immediately loses all it's power and you automatically go back to being ok, it really is 'just a thought.' But wow do we like to make them really real don't we?

Please stop! Start using your feelings as a gauge of the quality of your thinking and next time you are feeling pulled out of shape just give yourself some time to slow down and notice the stories you are likely telling yourself to create that 'state' and let's all click back into 'the' right state instead of 'a right state.'