How To Shoot Your Shot On Instagram When You're Not Royalty

Sliding into someone's Insta DMs takes careful consideration when you're not a prince.
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Netflix

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s highly-anticipated Netflix documentary is here and it’s giving us an insight into how the royals behave behind closed doors.

We learnt several new things about the pair. We discovered that their first date took place at Soho House and Meghan wanted to have a hot girl summer before she met Harry. But, probably more surprisingly, we found out that Harry first saw his future wife on Instagram.

It seems like everyone uses social media to shoot their shot, even Prince Harry. In the doc, Harry recalls the first moment he saw Meghan in an Instagram video, where she appeared with a mutual friend of his. 

“Who is that?!” he recalls thinking. He then messaged the friend, so they could be formally introduced. It was love at first like.

So, if you see someone you fancy on Insta, how do you approach them if you don’t have the prestige of a prince? Sliding in the DMs seems like an easy task, but it can be daunting to start speaking to someone you don’t know and oh-so easy to get wrong.

It’s different to a dating app, where you know you both have an intention to meet someone new. People usually don’t go social media to meet their significant other, so how do you go about it?

How you can meet via Instagram, without being creepy?

Lucy Beresford who is a psychotherapist, thinks the key is working on your own feed first.

“The first thing someone will do if you DM them is to check out your feed. So you want to show that you are a regular person living a life you enjoy,” Beresford says. “Don’t just post compliments on their posts, or hearts or flames. Write proper sentences that show actual engagement.”

Is there a way you should start a conversation?

“Look through someone’s feed and pick out a photo or two you can ask a question about. Show a curiosity about their connection to the photo. If the photo resonates with you, share why, so that you slowly share a little of yourself,” Bereford adds.

But, this only works for people who have several pictures. Some people don’t have many pictures on their instagram at all. So you could comment on something interesting they post on their story. Maybe they’ve recently gone to a concert, ask them what their favourite song from the artist is.

Or, perhaps you’ve seen them go to a Chinese restaurant, ask them the name of the restaurant and their favourite dish. You have to be creative.

Is there anything you should avoid? 

You don’t want to look too keen, especially if it’s someone you haven’t met before. “Definitely you want to avoid going too fast too soon,” Bereford adds.

“Don’t ask for sex in the first message. In fact, don’t ask for sex at all, even if that is your main longer-term aim. And definitely only send photos of your genitals when asked for them. ”

Rules to live by if ever we’ve heard them.