The 32-year-old, who is mum to two-year-old Buzz and one-year-old Buddy, spoke about being diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and how she fell pregnant shortly after taking fertility drugs metformin and clomid.
“In my head it was just too easy after being worried for so long,” she said during an interview with BUILD on 22 February.
“And then I miscarried after that. And part of me felt that would happen because I felt I hadn’t earned it.”
Fletcher said she was “too scared” to say anything when she miscarried because there’s a stigma attached to people talking about it.
“We just need to be able to talk,” she said. “It’s a really rubbish thing that happens, it happens to so many people and it’s only when you go through it and share it, that a friend may say it happened to them.
“Breaking down the taboo is so important. I once heard it described as the ‘loneliest grief’ and it’s right, you feel like your body has failed you.
The mum-of-two, who was speaking about her new parenting book ‘Happy Mum, Happy Baby’, also touched on how she felt about her post-baby body and why women shouldn’t be ashamed of their “wobbly bits”.
Fletcher recalled an incident when a woman pointed out her “mummy tummy” 11 days after she had given birth to Buddy. She said it caused her to reflect on how she felt about her body.
“Our bodies are amazing and even after having a miscarriage, where I felt that it had completely failed me, it’s incredible what our bodies can do,” she said.
“We scrutinise it all the time and put it down and judge others’ bodies but who cares? We all need to get rid of that judgement. It doesn’t matter, that’s not what our bodies are there for.
“At the time, on social media, it was nice hearing other mums have gone through that judgement, it’s really important, so you know you’re not the only one.”
Fletcher said by mums can support others who are in the same boat as them, by talking more about how they’re feeling.
And that includes when women become mums for the first time and aren’t prepared for the overwhelming responsibility of motherhood.
From being the most maternal person ever, Fletcher said the first three weeks after Buzz was born were what she imagined “hell to be like”.
“They are crying all the time, that’s all they’ve got,” she said. “It’s really loud, what’s going on in your body is so different and overwhelming.
“I remember being with Buzz one night and feeling that I didn’t have a maternal bone in my body. I didn’t think I was cut out for motherhood and thought: ‘Can I send him back?’
“No is the obvious answer - you feel like you are failing and getting it wrong but it doesn’t have to be that way.”