Girls these days would be forgiven for being confused on what to do to qualify their existence. Luckily the 21st Century manual on "How to Become a Woman" is regularly updated by the honorary guardians of us womenfolk; so these five simple rules will help you up-and-comers breeze through life without a hitch.
I was at the Cannes Film Festival when I heard that women had been turned away from the red carpet in their flat rhinestone shoes. As a stroke of luck, I happened to have tickets for the premiere the following evening as well as my own snazzy pair of flat rhinestone shoes, so fate stepped in (in flats).
Say 'Cannes' to the average guy or girl on the street, and they automatically think film festival. However, for the last six days, it has been the media industry clogging up La Croisette - the famous boutique-lined, beach-front boulevard - for the annual Cannes Lions Festival of Creativity. A melting pot of advertising creatives, PR gurus and media moguls this week flew into Cannes to drink their body weight in rosé, shake hands on deals and, if they were really lucky, party with Kim Kardashian. Away from the starry parties, however, the advertising industry is facing many of the same challenges other industries do, starting with the lack of women role models.
It's a mixed bag of beautiful and not so beautiful people, deals, schmoozing, ego inflating, celebrity spotting and awards, with one of the chicest backdrops in the world. A global telecoms client of mine recently laughed as he found the fact there was a multi million pound festival built around people congratulating themselves for being brilliant, was quite absurd!
The opening preamble states that it's set in Australia, '10 years after the collapse'. It's a bleak and desolate place but one that doesn't look that much different to the outback that has been portrayed on film for decades, except there's even fewer women and a lot more people shooting at each other. The recent BFI re-release of Wake In Fright would appear to be a key influence.