I woke up this morning with that agony that fills your body when you're deep in the depths of despair. There are people who think emotional pain isn't as bad as physical pain but here's the rub, there's empirical evidence that physical pain and emotional pain are registered in the exact same region of the brain.
So, there are absolutely no women in the V Festival comedy line-up. Not one, in a list of over 30 comedians! Surely this is craziness. In a year when the BBC have announced there will be at least one woman on every panel show, and after the nationwide outcry when comedian Jenny Collier was cancelled from a line-up due to "too many women on the bill".
I'm thinking about how angry I am that someone in London fixing my bathroom has put in a shower tray rather than a flat-tiled floor. I'm sitting in this perfection, attempting to practise being mindful, focusing on the beauty before my eyes but no, I'm dragged back to the shower tray saga and getting more and more angry. I'm trying with all I've got to not hate myself for being so shallow.
I see films so you don't have to. But I also don't see them, so everyone wins. The Amazing Sequel (Columbia Pictures Hollywood learns that with great branding potential also comes the opportunity to make millions of dollars. When Peter Parker is bitten by a film made in 2002, he underwent a fantastical transformation...
I can't be the only one whose life now follows this bonkers pattern, I started to think. There are many thousands of people looking to buy a place in London right now. I imagine deep down that most share my rather basic ideal; to work hard. Save harder. Use any money that happens to be left by relatives. And move into their first home of bricks and mortar.