I am trying, you may not think so but I am. I honestly can't help nor control this and I'm sorry. Don't shout at me when I ignore you ringing me. I swear it's not you I just I don't feel like I can take your words ringing in my ears. I can't concentrate; I'll forget what you said anyway.
My anxiety and depressive episodes in recent years have impacted upon my life considerably. But finally, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I write to offer a message of hope, a message that hopefully will resonate with many mental health sufferers. It gets better.
Discriminating against race is unacceptable but so is discriminating against mental health. The media are in a powerful position, they can either educate a lot of people or cause a lot of damage. It's about time they stepped up and began educating instead of sensationalising and discriminating.
When it comes to aims and ambitions in life, most people admit that their main aim in life is to be happy. This will mean different things for different people, but when you feel happy, you are relaxed, you are content and you are more confident.
Recently the government announced a fall in the number of young people in England who are NEET, an acronym for young people who are 'not in education, employment or training'. Yet is this fall, reflective of the aspirations of vulnerable young people looking to forge creative careers?
James Rhodes' in his autobiography 'Instrumental' writes: 'Our whole cultural identity is centred around not being good enough, constantly needing things that are shinier, faster, smaller, bigger, better,' a sentiment with which I deeply empathise. Looking back on my teaching career the one thing I know that became central to my depression was never being good enough.
I love meditating because it acts as an anchor, gives me a foundation and keeps me calm. However, it's the retreats that do me in. Spending a week disconnected from normal life and daily distractions is a recipe for disaster.
As someone who's had a lifelong battle with depression, I know full well what a serious issue suicide is for either gender. But I'm not sure if crowdsourcing a set of "bloke jokes" and pasting them up around the streets is the answer.
Londoners are depressed. 12% of men and as many as 20% of women living in London had symptoms of depression or anxiety in a survey carried out by the National Centre for Social Research and the University of Leicester.
Depression and other mental health issues are often talked about in terms of spotting it and treating it, and we relate experiences and how we got help etc. but seldom have I seen anything written about how depression feels to a sufferer, so that is what I hope to show you.
I went through a phase in my journey where I was sharing my anxieties with women and men. Generally it was well received, sometimes not. It didn't bother me. But by me becoming aware of my anxieties and not taking them personally or seriously I was able to let them be as there were, and they had less power over me
One big downside of trauma and depression is that you come out of it feeling like roadkill. To give up a long standing depression is to have a signifi...
I started to wonder why this didn't happen to me at other times in my life, which were also pretty high on the trauma richter scale. Like when I worked in retail, or I had a gigantic needle stuck in my hip bone, or when my boyfriend dumped me on our anniversary, or when I was forced to read out a poem about my invisible pet gerbil in the year two leavers assembly.
A year ago on 16th May 2014, I was making daily calls to the Samaritans and was coping with suicidal feelings so strong that I could barely leave the house due to the dangerously close proximity of a train station nearby where I vividly pictured the end of my life taking place.
As you twist and turn and spiral round depression's star everything else in your life can become a distant noise, a murmur in the background like Charlie Brown's teacher. You are aware of a presence of others but they are minor parts in your play, in your event.
I can only speak from my own experience, but I didn't talk about it openly because I was worried about being judged. People always saw me as "strong", and I didn't want to suddenly become "weak". I didn't want people to walk on eggshells around me. I was worried people wouldn't understand how I could have been leading a dream life in Paris, while simultaneously feel like my world was falling apart.