As a relationship and leadership coach this feels like the equivalent of asking a whole bunch of people you don't know to vote as to whether you should stay married or not. There is no trial separation. Their result is final. You might be going through a rocky patch but that's no reason to give up or abdicate responsibility.
I spend quite a significant amount of time with clients assuring them that they have more control of the outcome of the Divorce than they originally perceive. Many people come prepared for a fight and with that mind-set is exactly what they will get...
Millions of TV viewers are currently seeing a glimpse of a hidden, private side of divorce, as BBC Two's 'Mr v Mrs: Call The Mediator' lifts the lid on separated couples trying to sort future arrangements.
If you are thinking about a divorce, your head will be full of worries about the future. Will you be able to afford two households? Who gets what? And how on earth do you "share the children"? The last thing you want is uncertainty about the divorce procedure. Do you instruct a solicitor or do you come to a mediator? Here is a brief overview of the best possible use of both since the two approaches complement each other.
'We should plant something on his grave, so he's still alive somehow,' he said as together we slowly covered Elvis' body with earth. And we shall. A scented rose, I think. Yes, Elvis was just a dog. A wonderful, wonderful dog and there will always be an Elvis-shaped hole in our hearts.
I honestly don't think people are intending to mess up their children when going through divorce and certainly if you are reading this then I applaud you for wanting to make the best out of a bad situation for your kids. However, 9 times out of 10, people mess up and the children are the ones who get the brunt of it. Here are some basic No-No's to avoid.
Getting divorced can knock you sideways emotionally, physically and mentally and make you feel like your world has turned upside down. You may also experience periods of depression or anxiety.
Over the years I have heard all manner of suggestions about how to act when separating or divorce. It is a rarity for this advice to have any merit whatsoever - sometimes I can understand why it is given - but sometimes it really falls into the category of roll your eyes stupidity.
Everything can be sorted out, agreed and put behind you, you can move on from the conflict of the past and through dialogue and bargaining to acceptance and to a new and brighter future. You will have come up the other side of the rollercoaster and will be able to look back with relief on the journey you have accomplished - and be glad it is behind you.
Guilt and anger are very common emotions felt by parents whose children die, and these emotions need to be addressed. It is significant that the majority of respondents reported that both they and their spouses had sought counselling after their child's death.
The hardest part of letting go of a relationship is actually accepting that you had a part to play in the demise of it. This may seem like a really difficult thing to do if you are in the early stages of a break up but it will be the most freeing thing you will do to move on.
Latest studies are confirming that social media is now being listed as one of the highest causes of divorce and how people are using social media to cope with marital breakdowns can also work against you.
We all know that if we are angry, critical, mean spirited and we shut each other out there is no good end to this kind of interaction. So why do we still do it? One answer is that we don't know better.
On the grieving cycle following death, loss or divorce, after the first shock and denial, people become angry and blaming, they may get depressed as they gradually detach from the other person and old life. Only then are they ready to move to dialogue and bargaining to sort everything out. Finally they will reach acceptance of the new life and be able to move on.
Try to understand what the other person is saying. Don't just think how to argue back. Unless there's serious abuse, try not to communicate through other people, especially people who think they're helping by taking sides.
The sad and rather ironic fact is there is always an increase in break-ups around Valentines Day. At a time when many couples are planning a romantic evening, buying each other cards and celebrating their love it seems strange that this is a peak time for splits.