All images, unless stated, owned by the BBC. WARNING: This is jam-packed with The Great British Bake Off spoilers because - well - it's all about The...
Mel and Sue were drowning in French jokes. Plus there was that awkward moment when Mel and Sue joke about leaving the show and having enough... when in the future they will be leaving the show and will have had enough...
Is 'Tudor' born to be a Bake Off theme? Or was it just the BBC sound team trying to prove their eerie Potter-style plucking soundtrack was worth the money?
So the first question we all had, was what the week actually is. Botanical means that the bakes have to contain something that grows. So... most bakes. Or, they can be something with floral decorations. So... any bake. Woah. Really putting the pressure on this high caliber of bakers. You'd think hash brownies or a magic mushroom loaf would make an appearance - but not a sniff.
So... bread... bread knowledge... 350g of butter?! Four eggs?! A single prove?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! YOU'RE ON THE LEDGE MATE, I NEED TO TALK YOU DOWN. Oh no wait, I have no idea. But these people are just as useless! Most of their bakes were shit. 'The star baker in bread bake has always gone into the final' Really? I'd be surprised if any of them make it.
All three look to have pulled it out of the bag when it really mattered, but there can only be one winner. Who is going to claim the most sought-after tent-based accolade in television?
When it comes to the judging, Paul Hollywood suggests that Ian hasn't done enough with the time, it seemingly having slipped his mind that - let me repeat this - Ian's MADE A FULLY-FUNCTIONING WELL. FROM CHOCOLATE.
Innuendo of the week: "It's important that you fill the horn right to the bottom so that you enjoy every mouthful" I can't help but think Mary Berry is just trolling us now.
Whilst no-one has gone quite as outré as Ian with the decorations, everyone's still making the most of the time available to perfect the presentation. Everyone, that is, except Mat, who sits calmly drinking a cup of tea and picking at his leftover ingredients while the others sweat over the intricacies of their showstoppers.
Paul Hollywood sets a technical challenge of a dozen gluten-free pitta breads. In fact, it's as if he doesn't realise that a prime-time television show needs a bit more spectacle than some amateur bakers staring at a proving draw before turning out some dull, oval flatbreads.
Innuendo of the week: "Right, let's get into the bottom!" Judge Paul is VERY keen to taste contestant Paul's cheesecake. I told you there was a bromance.
After nearly 10 months away from our screens, Britain's premier televised baking competition is back, and all the old gang are here. Mel and Sue! Mezza Bezza! Animatronic, dead-eyed dough-bot Paul Hollywood!
It's semi-final time, with just three challenges standing between Richard, Chetna, Luis and Nancy, and a place in the final. However, as well as three challenges, there are also only three places available in next week's show.
Making a sweet fruit loaf may not initially seem like the hardest task in the world, but we're at the quarter-final stage of this year's Great British Bake Off, and things aren't as simple as they first seem. So, not only do our five bakers have to make their loaves with enriched dough - notoriously tricky to work with - but also have only two and a half hours in which to complete the task...
For the showstopper, or should I say, choux-stopper (totally copyrighting that pun), our brave, baking adventurers must make two dozen éclairs; twelve of one flavour and twelve of another. Kate, Luis and Chetna all decide to flavour their choux pastry, with Kate adding Greek basil to the dough that will form the base to her lemon meringue éclairs.
Do you ever think that the people behind The Great British Bake Off might be running out of episode ideas? I only ask because episode six of the 2014 incarnation has as its theme 'European cakes', which sounds very much like a 5pm-on-a-Friday idea to me. Anyway, I can't be too concerned about that because my main concern is who is going to be my new baking hero following Norman's ignominious sortie last week.