Maybe it's the Nigerian in me, but when it comes to my parents, any insult, intentional or otherwise, will always be met with forceful brimstone and years of grudge-holding. And yes, my father has been dead for 13 years. Nigerians are just like that.
Cameron's speech was solid, professional, and well-delivered, if a little sedate and dry. The error he made with it was designing it for a constituency of voters that he discarded, and that he does not have the tools to recapture.
As the public wearily wonders when the conference season will end, one thing is already clear: we're in a bidding war in which the two largest parties have - rightly - identified that the public is fed up with the struggle to keep their heads above water... The parties' responses? Short-term give-aways, quick fixes.
This week, I went to Manchester to the Tory party conference. Not as a Tory this time, but a happy Ukipper... The excellent IEA event - a 'Fag and a Pint With Nigel Farage' was a chance to showcase the man, our policies, our philosophy and where we stand on many issues. Again, the room was a little cosy and Nigel was on good form. The Tories were in denial that we were there.
UKIP are taking votes away from both right and left, but it is the Conservative Party taking the biggest hit. The party Chairman just the other day entreated Ukippers to "come home". Tory MP Nadine Dorries has suggested a Conservative Party/Ukip ticket. Things are that desperate.
Reducing the voting age to 16 may have seemed like one of the more throw-away policies in Ed Miliband's 'We're better than this' conference speech. But it encapsulated the simplistic appeal to base prejudices that characterised his sermon. And being 'better' was perhaps a mantra he should have first recited to himself.
Despite my passion for the EU, I have a confession. Not only have I never really been a fan of the European Parliament, but I get a bit embarrassed when the EP tries to hype up the European Elections. It's like they're watching all the hoopla of the US elections and shouting "But look at us! 500 million people! We matter too!"
I remember the first time my mum called me a slut. Being the kind, peace-loving individual she is, I was a tad taken aback by such an accusation. Following on from the discussion, I suggested that to avoid confusion in future, she might want to avoid using the word... So when Godfrey Bloom experienced catastrophic system failure at the UKIP conference last week, I have to say I felt a bit sorry for him.
The British system of parliamentary democracy is respected the world over. But in this modern age, where people won't just accept the concept of a two party dynamic, where people's political opinions don't just fit into left or right boxes, maybe the time has come to take some lessons from our friends in Germany.
The status of the Burka's legality has evolved into one of those controversial issues which galvanises the public into the sort of hysterical mob mentality normally reserved for paedophiles and rapists. A recent Yougov poll states that 61% of the British public would agree with the decision to ban the Burka in public spaces.
A jolly time was had by all at the Ukip Party Conference. Who even knew that they had one? They should be glad of all the publicity they can get, but in the mind of Nigel Farage, the man who commands the spotlight, any deviation of attention is unwelcome. Godfrey Bloom was that deviation.
This whole thing exploded into life on news feeds and social media and any damage limitation that UKIP have feebly attempted to make is too little too...
The reason Ukip is now polling a consistent average in by-elections since May (23.6%) is admittedly a fascinating phenomenon... Those in the metropolitan élite bubble, who graze on sun-dried tomatoes, pasta and chardonnay are struggling with this. Why won't this beastly party of amateurs go away? It's now beyond a joke... People are turning to Ukip because no one else seems to understand the frustration ordinary working folk are feeling.
Ukip is a spent political force. Despite the seemingly endless news carnival of its rise, the bubble has burst. Much like the idiotic, and entirely unreflected in reality, notion of "Cleggmania" - which gave struggling news channels something to fill up a schedule - the fortunes of Ukip's leadership coterie will soon crash to Earth once more.
I never thought I would agree with anything an uelected Eurocrat uttered. But yesterday I saw myself nodding in agreement, punching the air and saying, by jingoism, old Barroso's got it. In a staggering admission, European Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso, stated that Ukip could win the forthcoming European Parliament elections and that the Tories were merely a "copy" of Ukip in their European election strategy.
As a son of a plasterer and from a family who run a small business within the construction industry, I have seen the effects on the unskilled labour market that an open door policy can have. Wages are being driven down and more British workers are being pushed out of the trade altogether; they simply cannot compete with those who are prepared to work for so much less.