Fuel crisis
"Boris battles to save Christmas 2.....the sequel no one wanted."
Motorists have been stocking up on more than their fair share of fuel, causing a petrol crisis.
"Read the room lads. Right now we can't even get to the nearest town."
Government ministers refused to turn up to broadcast interviews on Tuesday.
Fights have broken out at petrol pumps as some people fill any container they can find with fuel.
One motorist is said to have filled six cans to a total of 160 litres.
The Ministry of Defence is helping to train HGV drivers.
Gas is now approximately four times more expensive than it was in January.
Downing Street was hoping to entice EU drivers back to Britain to fix the HGV driver shortage.