There isn't a single hypnobirthing technique that isn't a skill for life. So I encourage you, pregnant or not, the next time you notice you're having the urge to change what is, wishing for the future or yearning for the past, bring your attention to accepting the moment for what it is. Breathe out resistance and notice how much easier things feel. It works.
One thing that was not lost amongst the milk hazed chaos was how at certain points during those first intrepid weeks, me and my post baby self could have done with a list of new mum home truths that cut through the inertia of new mum bullshit and instead brought me and my over active worries back down to reality.
All the horror stories about pain, long drawn-out births, complications and instruments that "do what?!!" (trust me - everyone will want to tell you what happened once to a friend of theirs) no wonder women aren't even allowed to entertain the idea that birth can in fact be amazing, empowering and redefining.
A complete norm, or the truly typical does not exist. How long it takes to conceive, the exact length of your pregnancy, how much your baby weighs, feeds, fills her nappy, wants to be held and sleeps is no different. Neither your body, not your baby have the latest iBaby App or manual from a childcare expert telling them what is expected...
As a mother myself, I feel very strongly that my children are part of me. To be able to absorb your babies back into your body rather than give birth to them in a place which is unsafe or where food and water is scarce would be the best option, if only it were possible in humans. So in that sense, isn't abortion the most maternal, selfless, protective act a mother can do?
Many men feel guilty or even ashamed of these feelings, some resentful or angry at their partner or child. A lot of new dads find themselves alone with these feelings. Helpless and unable to share with anyone, they retreat emotionally as the pain of emotional isolation is so hard to bear. As a result of this, some men also decide to leave the family.
The latest scientific research is now starting to indicate that if the baby is not properly seeded with the mother's own bacteria at birth, then the baby's microbiome, in the words of Rodney R Dietert, Professor of Immunotoxicology at Cornell University, is left "incomplete". Consequently, that baby's immune system may never develop to its full potential, leaving that infant with an increased risk of developing one or more serious diseases later in life.