Some people cancel everything and prioritise a new relationship, sometimes out of laziness because it takes effort to keep your friends happy and your partner feeling special. Is your partner planning on keeping his or her routine intact? For example, do they plan to continue spending Sunday afternoon with their best friends, excluding you? It's not about right or wrong. It's about what would you prefer and what would keep you happy.
If all we do is drain our flames with the concerns of everyone else, then all that is left are some ashy embers and jagged coals. Anger and resentment enjoy these conditions, and we can't love others with such feelings. We just want to run, escape, blame and punish, often passive-aggressively, because we begrudge everything.
"It's always good to have options" is a phrase my girlfriends use when I refer to prospective dates. Is this the case? Call me old-fashioned but I don't believe this. I think we've become programmed not to "find the one" but to "find another in case one doesn't work out". We have conditioned ourselves to find a new protection system.
So you're heartbroken. Because he or she left. Or because you realised that you had to end it. The reasons don't much matter because it hurts the same! We know that time heals all wounds but we'd just like for time to move a bit faster for the foreseeable future because what earthly use is that to you? Now?
I was born at 2.30pm which explains why I was never an early morning person or so I thought until I conditioned myself to get up at the crack of dawn. Human beings have an incredible built-in mechanism which allows them to get used to most things and to program our minds however we want, even in matters of the heart.
My tenth confession is a complete embracing of all my imperfections: I'm an idealistic yet pessimistic romantic. I'm a health conscious periodic binge eater. I think I'm so good but I'm super self critical. I'm sweet but I'm angry. I am a bundle of contradictions but again, I challenge anyone to say they are anything other.
How do you grieve for something that's not a physical being? You haven't lost a relative or friend, or your dog that you've had in the family since you were small. You don't get the usual 'I'm sorry for your loss', because have you actually lost anything? For anyone who's been through or going through this then of course the answer is yes.