As we come to terms with the tragic loss of life and continue to express our solidarity and support with the victims of the Orlando shooting in the face of mindless homophobia and terrorism, these discriminatory rules are being brought into question and scrutinised under the public spotlight now more than ever before, as we ask ourselves: what is the real reason why a monogamous gay man cannot give blood while a heterosexual man with an indeterminate number of sexual partners would be welcome to donate?
Contrary to popular belief, transgender people weren't born in the wrong body, they weren't misgendered, they don't want to change sex, they haven't got some altered ego - they, like everyone else, were born with a gender that was set at conception. However, this gender was different to the one with which they were labelled at birth.
As a trans woman I had many years of having to use the 'wrong' toilet facility and it was terrifying. I always felt exposed, vulnerable, like something dangerous could happen. I didn't want to see men peeing or hear men's' conversations, my friends went into the women's and I prayed for an empty men's bathroom.
The battle to have the voice we think we should have is something many trans and non-binary clients I work with are grappling with on a daily basis. Some find a comfortable place quickly and absorb voice exercises and skills easily; others are clear they are happy with their voices as they are; some take a bit of time to leave old habits behind and find new ones which feel true and sound authentic.
You should realise when you are riding roughshod over someone's pain and should f*****g shut up and listen a bit if you actually want people to engage with your point of view, and maybe agree to disagree. Instead of feeling they have to run away, or block their ears and go la-la-la. Or no-platform you, which is the institutional equivalent.
Nowadays, of course, we'd all want to know if Stella was "really" trans rather than drag; we, in our way, are just as keen to categorise anyone who strays outside of their allotted gender role as the Victorians were. Stella's mother told the gentlemen of the jury about how the school-age Ernest liked to dress up as the family chambermaid...