Mum's Account Of Care After Baby Loss 'Should Serve As An Example To Other NHS Hospitals' | HuffPost Life

'I don’t know what else the staff could have done to help us.'

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Life editor at HuffPost UK

A mum has opened up about the “exemplary” quality of care she received from a NHS hospital in the hours before and after having a stillbirth.

Viki Ferguson, 45, hopes her experience at the Royal Victoria Infirmary, in Newcastle, will serve as an example to other hospitals who may not currently provide such a high standard of care.

The mother chose to share her story during Baby Loss Awareness Week (9-15 October) after charities revealed current levels of care offered to women after baby loss are “worryingly inconsistent” across the UK.

The charities have called on the government to ensure all hospitals have accessible bereavement rooms and a member of staff to lead on bereavement care.

Ferguson believes these demands are achievable as she received a high standard of care after her stillbirth in 2013.

“I don’t know what more the staff could have done to help us through that time,” Ferguson told HuffPost UK. “Everything they did was for our benefit.”

VikiFerguson

Viki Ferguson and her husband Colin.

In March 2013, Ferguson was 35 weeks pregnant with her first child when she went in for a routine scan.

She and her partner Colin knew their daughter had a heart condition, so she was having checkups on a more regular basis than most mothers-to-be.

At the appointment, she was told there was no heartbeat, her baby had died.

“The rest of that afternoon was a bit of a blur,” Ferguson explained. “But what I can remember is how supportive the staff were, they talked us through everything that was going to happen.”

Ferguson was told she had a choice of being induced or waiting for labour to start. She chose to be induced.

What surprised Ferguson when she went back to the hospital to give birth on 16 March 2013, was that she was given a private room away from other pregnant women.

“Within the maternity ward they have a bereavement suite,” she explained. “There are two rooms especially for anyone who will have a stillbirth. It is away from the noise, you can’t hear anyone else in labour or any crying babies.

“It was really well thought out and very self-contained. I had my own bathroom.”

Ferguson was assigned a specially trained bereavement midwife as soon as she arrived. The midwife stayed with her and, even when she finished her shift, a second bereavement midwife took over.

“If you want them there, they are there,” Ferguson explained. “If you wanted to be left alone, they left you alone.

“They looked after us so well, they made sure Colin was looked after as well, he was part of it - they brought another bed in the room so he could stay with me overnight.

“Things like that really made a difference to me.”

““The care was exemplary. I don’t know how it would have felt not to have that. If they want a model to work on, that was it."”
- Viki Ferguson

When Ferguson gave birth, she was surprised how comforted she felt by the midwife and staff in the room with her.

“They bathed my daughter, they put her in a babygro and treated her if she was still alive,” the mum explained.

“They were talking to her and made it the nicest experience it could’ve been. It wasn’t like it was all over as soon as she was born. How they treated her meant so much to us.”

Ferguson gave birth at 8.20pm and she and her husband had a couple of hours with their baby that night. The midwife stayed with them until after midnight, speaking to them and checking they were okay.

“I really couldn’t have faulted the care,” she said.

“The next day we had another couple of hours with our daughter and then we had staff coming in to talk us through everything that happens with funerals, who would be in touch with us, and the counselling that was available. It was all the information we needed.”

Ferguson said she didn’t feel rushed to leave the bereavement suite - she was told she could stay as long as she wanted, but she decided to get discharged the next day.

On leaving the suite, she was given a memory envelope with photos, hair, footprints and handprints taken from her daughter, and knitted teddy bear twins - one that stayed with her daughter and one that stayed with the couple.

In the weeks following, Ferguson had a visit from a chaplain to talk through the funeral, two visits from the health visitor, a counselling session, and her GP ensured she didn’t go back to work until she was up to it.

“The care was exemplary,” she added. “I don’t know how it would have felt not to have that. If they want a model to work on, that was it.

“The staff were completely lead by us, I didn’t feel like we were forced into anything. Everything was for our benefit.”

Ferguson believes good care does “not require a complete overhaul of the NHS”.

She said small gestures such as the memory box and the empathy shown by the midwives made her experience as good as it could have been.

“Every hospital should have a midwife or midwives trained in bereavement,” she said. ”Just to have someone to know how to deal with death and what to expect - simple things like that made such a difference.

“It’s shocking that there is a postcode lottery of care.

“It helps so much to have support at a time like that. If there is a consistent level of care, it helps you through the grieving process.”

For information and support:
Sands: Stillbirth and neonatal death charity with a helpline, information online and support groups.
Kicks Count: A charity empowering mums-to-be with knowledge and information about their baby’s movements to prevent baby loss.
Tommy’s: A charity funding research into stillbirth, premature birth and miscarriage, and providing information for parents-to-be.

Before You Go

How To Help A Friend Through Miscarriage

Send Flowers(01 of15)

While not everyone is as open to talking about their feelings as I am, I think everyone loves to receive a bright bouquet of flowers –- it’s a nice way to say that you’re there for her, and you care, without forcing her to talk about her feelings. (credit:Getty)

Share Your Story(02 of15)

If you’ve gone through a similar experience, share your story with your grieving friend. While it’s unfortunate that miscarriage is so common, your friend can take comfort in not being alone. Knowing that others in their own network of friends have experienced the same thing makes it easier to work through the grieving process. (credit:Getty)

Pamper Her(03 of15)

There’s no better time for your friend to focus on taking care of themselves. A restful body will help to heal the mind. Gift your friend with a massage or a pedicure so she is forced to take time out to enjoy a little pampering. And if you can, join her! (credit:Getty)

Don’t Try To Tell Her That It'll All Be OK(04 of15)

Unfortunately, there isn’t really anything you can do to reassure your friend that they’ll feel better in a few weeks or months. It’s a grieving process –- one that affects everyone differently. All that you can do is lend an ear, hold a hand and wait it out with them. (credit:Getty)

Don't Pry(05 of15)

While you may be wondering what the doctors discovered or if your friend is going to try again -- wait for your friend to share those details with you. Don’t try to pry it out of her. She might not be ready to discuss the details with you yet, but if you let her know that you’re there for her and available if she wants to talk, then she will come to you when she's ready. (credit:Getty)

(06 of15)

1. Your fertility is mostly determined by genetics, which influences how many eggs you are born with. Doctors believe that the number of eggs you have at birth determines the length of time you will remain fertile. At birth, women have about two million eggs in their ovaries. For every egg ovulated during your reproductive life, about 1,000 eggs undergo programmed cell death. Other things, such as smoking cigarettes and certain types of chemotherapy, can accelerate egg cell death and promote an earlier menopause.

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2. Regular menstrual cycles are a sign of regular ovulation.Most women have regular cycles lasting between 24 and 35 days. This is usually a sign of regular, predictable ovulation. Women who do not ovulate regularly have irregular menstrual cycles. Those who do not ovulate at all may have a genetic condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS).

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3. Basal temperature charting does not predict ovulation.An older method of tracking ovulation involves taking your oral body temperature each morning before getting out of bed. This is called basal body temperature. This method is used to spot a rise in basal temperature, which is a sign that progesterone is being produced. The main problem with using this method is that your temperature rises after ovulation has already occurred. This makes it more difficult to time intercourse at an optimal time for conception. A better method is to use over-the-counter urine ovulation predictor test kits such as Clearblue Easy. These kits test for the hormone that prompts ovulation, which is called luteinizing hormone (LH).

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4. Most women with blocked fallopian tubes are completely unaware they may have had a prior pelvic infection.About 10 percent of infertility cases are due to tubal disease, either complete blockage or pelvic scarring causing tubal malfunction. One major cause of tubal disease is a prior pelvic infection from a sexually transmitted disease such as chlamydia. These infections can cause so few symptoms that you may be completely unaware your tubes are affected. This is why fertility physicians will order a dye test of the tubes, called a hysterosalpingogram (HSG), if you have been trying and failing to conceive for 6 months or longer.

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5. In most cases, stress does not cause infertility. Except in rare cases of extreme physical or emotional distress, women will keep ovulating regularly. Conceiving while on vacation is likely less about relaxation than about coincidence and good timing of sex.

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6. By age 44, most women are infertile, even if they are still ovulating regularly. Even with significant fertility treatment, rates of conception are very low after age 43. Most women who conceive in their mid-40's with fertility treatment are using donated eggs from younger women.

(12 of15)

7. Having fathered a pregnancy in the past does not guarantee fertility. Sperm counts can change quite a bit with time, so never assume that a prior pregnancy guarantees fertile sperm. Obtaining a semen analysis is the only way to be sure the sperm are still healthy!

(13 of15)

8. For the most part, diet has little or nothing to do with fertility. Despite popular press, there is little scientific data showing that a particular diet or food promotes fertility. One limited study did suggest a Mediterranean diet with olive oil, fish and legumes may help promote fertility.

(14 of15)

9. Vitamin D may improve results of fertility treatments. A recent study from the University of Southern California suggested that women who were undergoing fertility treatments, but had low vitamin D levels, might have lower rates of conception. This vitamin is also essential during pregnancy. At Pacific Fertility Center, we recommend our patients take 2,000-4,000 IU per day.

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10. Being either underweight or overweight is clearly linked with lowered levels of fertility. The evidence in recent years is that obesity is clearly linked with a longer time to conception. Having a body mass index less than 18 or over 32 is associated with problems ovulating and conceiving, as well as problems during pregnancy.

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