I've been a bit flighty the last few years, but I'm naturally quite earthy. I guess I just have to balance the fact I'm really a traveller, who got a bit sidetracked for too long, with somewhere to oil paint, cook, dig and bathe. I dread to think how much of my life I've spent in a depressed stupor.
Kate is no ordinary young woman, she is the Duchess of Cambridge, a future Queen; let's bring on the glamorous 'show-stoppers' and maybe an updo for a change, although full marks for the pony-tail by the way!
If, like the Cambridges, you have a baby aged zero-12 months, you are either aiming towards a routine, or have one already ticking along. The challenge is to make sure that as you take up invitations from family over the Christmas period, that it is a relaxing time for everyone - you and baby especially.
Until a month ago, I had no idea there were so many thousands of people who cared so deeply - so passionately - about circumcision.
This week, the Marshall Islands will host the 44th Pacific Island Forum, and I will be there to represent the UK as a Dialogue Partner. The key theme will be tackling climate change.
Over the weekend the Duchess of Cambridge was widely reported making her first public appearance since giving birth, but was there an unhealthy media obsession with the post-pregnancy body shape of Kate Middleton?
Of all the ludicrous pieces of claptrap that I have heard spouted about Prince George, there is nothing quite so bonkers - so utterly fantastical - as this idea that the boy is going to be circumcised. Where has this nutso idea come from? I know exactly where: the United States.
As Kate Middleton gives birth to the third heir to the throne, around 100 pregnant women continue to be detained in the UK for immigration purposes each year. A research report by Medical Justice has shown that the current policy of detaining pregnant women is ineffective, unworkable and damaging.
A woman named Kate Middleton recently gave birth to a baby. That's not news. What if Kate had given birth to a giraffe, a hippo or an echidna? Now that's news. Especially since a baby echidna is called a puggle, which is way cuter than any human name anyone has ever come up with.
I was reading through the morning papers when the office rang: "Kate is in Labour. Can you make your way down to the Lindo Wing as soon as possible?" It's the call I had been waiting almost a month for. My baby bag was packed and had been cluttering up the hall since the start of July. It was crammed with everything I could possibly need for an open ended job. I had been in labour for three days with my son so I was prepared for a long wait...
Maybe it's marriage, maybe it's fatherhood, but it seems that Prince William's long-standing loathing for the media is beginning to mellow. When he came out of St Mary's Hospital, Paddington, with Kate and the new baby, William was positively oozing charm to the baying press mob.
Post-partum hair loss and noticeable shedding is more likely than not something that new mothers will have to contend with. But why is this?
The gift I want to give the new born prince is one of equality with the common people. I want them to be free to choose their own religion, marry whom they will and choose their own career without causing an abdication crisis. That they have no duties to defend an established status quo but are at liberty to think for themselves...
So there we have it; the conclusion of the greatest product launch campaign Britain has ever seen. No, Apple didn't bring out the iWatch while you weren't looking. I'm talking about the latest release from modish mass market lifestyle brand Clarence House.
I mused as I scrolled though these over just how close to the brink of insanity the celebrity press is teetering. When I reached my personal favourite, KATE'S HAVING A BABY GIRL! PALACE UPROAR: ROYALS WANT MALE HEIR! I thought, do they realise how completely batshit crazy they sound?
Various irrelevant statements have been flung around, such as: 'I don't care about the royal baby', 'this weather has to break soon' or even 'the monarchy is an elitist institution which undermines our democracy.' All this matters little when we consider that the little prince will affect us even as we affect indifference.