Women after birth can look radiant and lovely, if they brush their hair, have a quick wash, put on some gloss and simply smile while holding their baby, but for most mothers that's the last thing on their mind.
I hear your elder brother George is quite a big deal. My big sister, Freyja, is too. At least that is what it feels like sometimes. For a start, she had a baby book which is at least partly filled in. Mine is completely blank. I am not even sure if my parents have even opened it.
If a "dad bod" means having a protruding belly rather than washboard abs, then a "mum bod" involves having stretch marks, cellulite and a little tummy. But instead of accepting our bodies, we berate ourselves and push unobtainable beauty standards onto other women.
Yes, Kate may be Royal. Yes, she may have a number of Royal advantages at her finger tips (that the rest of us don't) and, yes, she did look bloody gorgeous just hours after having her baby, but so the hell what?!
The experience with your first born is absolutely unique and the time so precious. It's only when the next one arrives that it really sinks in that you will never have the same level of relative calm or one-on-one time with either of your little ones again.
The new royal baby is set to come in time for the May half-term school holidays. So why not give something back to the doting British public who are rushing out to buy souvenirs to celebrate the birth? Last time more than £250million was spent in shops when baby George was born.