Donald Trump's Inner Circle Ranked From Good To Pant-Browningly Scary

Some light reading.

8) IVANKA TRUMP

WHO? The President’s daughter

BOGEYMAN RATING: 0.5/10

WHY? Although Ivanka, 35, has no official role in the administration she has made it very clear she wants to use her position to further women’s issues such as paid maternity leave and she’s wasted no time in setting about doing so.

Not only does she carry herself with a calm grace, there’s also plenty to suggest she is a much-needed restraining influence on her father who actually listens to her.

"My daughter Ivanka has been treated so unfairly by @Nordstrom. She is a great person -- always pushing me to do the right thing! Terrible!"

— Real DJ Trump Team* (@RealDJTrumpTeam) February 8, 2017

Referring to the above tweet, Kate Andersen Brower, author of a study of first ladies, First Women: The Grace and Power of America’s Modern First Ladies, told USA Today: “It was very telling and I don’t think he’s saying that ironically.

“I think he realises she is a positive part of his image right now. She’s the only women in his orbit who is seen as relatively moderate or seemingly so.”

BIGGEST FAIL: It’s not all been plain sailing - Ivanka was roundly condemned for posting this picture on Instagram in the midst of the backlash against Trump’s controversial refugee ban.

A post shared by Ivanka Trump (@ivankatrump) on

Who wore it better? @IvankaTrump pic.twitter.com/I5ab22nLNx

— Geoff Crawley (@VoiceOfThePhan) January 29, 2017

7) SEAN SPICER

New @PressSec checks out the new digs pic.twitter.com/As3raBK1LX

— Mike Memoli (@mikememoli) January 20, 2017

WHO? Press Secretary

BOGEYMAN RATING: 1/10

WHY? Now you may think Spicer, 45, deserves to rank higher on this list but the fact is he’s doing a near-impossible job so badly that he’s more likely to illicit sympathy than fear.

Or, genius comedy sketches.

Couldn't make this any more clear. #SNL pic.twitter.com/7i1rHvsi7V

— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) February 12, 2017

Watching Sean Spicer publicly defend Trump with outright lies is like forcing a chubby dyslexic toddler to compete in a spelling-bee on pain of death.

The man can barely speak English.

Presenting: Sean Spicer's Alternative ABCs pic.twitter.com/A74yFJv8cW

— Mдтт Иegяiи (@MattNegrin) February 8, 2017

BIGGEST FAIL: Take your pick out of any of his public appearances so far but if we had to choose...

6) Reince Priebus

WHO? White House Chief of Staff

BOGEYMAN RATING: 2/10

WHY? Priebus, 45, has that rarest of rare things in Trump’s inner circle - experience.

In fact the Republican stalwart could be so competent that right-wing Trump loyalists are seeking to oust him.

Priebus was widely seen as being a bridge between Trump and traditional Republicans and just how much he really agrees with what the President is doing is unknown.

Listen carefully to this clip of him talking about that utter shambles of a press conference earlier this week.

.@Reince45 on yesterday's press conference: There's no person better to speak for President Trump than himself. He did a fantastic job. pic.twitter.com/N6o9P9ksMe

— FOX & friends (@foxandfriends) February 17, 2017

“I can’t do anywhere near what President Trump can do. There’s no person better to speak for President Trump than President Trump. He’s extraordinarily talented and a great salesman. It was an effective way to sum up what his message was and he did a fantastic job.”

Maybe we’re reading to much into it but that can be read two ways...

BIGGEST FAIL: Probably taking the job in the first place.

5) JARED KUSHNER

Kushner listens as Trump speaks during a breakfast with business leaders in the Roosevelt Room of the White House.
Kushner listens as Trump speaks during a breakfast with business leaders in the Roosevelt Room of the White House.
Pablo Martinez Monsivais/AP

WHO? The son-in-law

BOGEYMAN RATING: 4/10

WHY? The scariest thing about Kushner, 36, may simply be his complete lack of diplomatic experience despite being tasked with essentially bringing peace to the Middle East.

The Orthodox Jew and husband of Ivanka has a fascinating family history (his grandparent’s escaped from the Nazis as part of the same group depicted in the film Defiance) that puts him in good stead with one of the aggrieved sides in the Arab-Israeli conflict but probably not the other.

On the plus side, he has reportedly hit it off well with Arab diplomats and, unlike Trump, appears to be able to listen to others before making big decisions.

BIGGEST FAIL: Just this week he got a trouncing for complaining about negative media coverage.

Little boy Kushner, tough guy who's supposed to achieve Middle East peace, is complaining about me to CNN. Boo-hoo! https://t.co/4W8Sh9sHxy

— Ana Navarro (@ananavarro) February 17, 2017

4) Kellyanne Conway

This Morning Joe segment ripping into Kellyanne Conway is absolutely brutal. pic.twitter.com/bCGtdN2LRU

— Carlos Maza (@gaywonk) February 14, 2017

WHO? Counsellor to the President

BOGEYMAN RATING: 5/10

WHY? Whenever a political fire needs dousing the White House inexplicably rolls out human kerosene receptacle, Kellyanne Conway.

Conway, 50, shouldn’t be feared for what she can achieve as part of Trump’s administration but for demonstrating just how far a human-being can willingly go in the pursuit of deception, not only of others but presumably, of themselves as well.

Erin Gloria Ryan: The Downfall of Kellyanne Conway https://t.co/ST1RhAP6ry pic.twitter.com/lMgPopCFLN

— John Adams (@DailyAdams) February 18, 2017

BIGGEST FAIL: Inventing a massacre, without a doubt.

3) MIKE PENCE

Pence at the swearing-in ceremony of Office of Management and Budget Director Mick Mulvaney.
Pence at the swearing-in ceremony of Office of Management and Budget Director Mick Mulvaney.
Carlos Barria / Reuters

WHO? Vice President

BOGEYMAN RATING: 7/10

WHY? Donald Trump is not only the oldest President in over 100 years, he is also the fattest.

With this in mind, should anything happen to him, Pence, 57, will become leader of the free world and that’s a bad thing because he doesn’t appear to like gay people very much.

As Time notes, he has:

  • Said gay couples signaled ‘societal collapse’
  • Opposed a law that would prohibit discrimination against LGBT people in the workplace
  • Opposed the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
  • Rejected the Obama administration directive on transgender bathrooms

BIGGEST FAIL: None of any note as VP yet.

2) STEPHEN MILLER

Stephen Miller's entry in the Santa Monica High School Yearbook.
Stephen Miller's entry in the Santa Monica High School Yearbook.
Santa Monica High School Yearbook

WHO? Senior Advisor

BOGEYMAN RATING: 9/10

WHY? Miller, 31, has been instrumental in formulating immigration policy for the Trump administration which is fine until you look at some of the things he’s done in the past. He has...

Oh, and he follows this guy on Twitter.

Ummm.... why does Trump's top aide Stephen Miller follow KKK-supporting racist David Duke on Twitter?!

He's a WHITE HOUSE STAFFER. pic.twitter.com/XRYtXSBycs

— PARKER 🗽🏳️🌈 (@Parker9_) February 15, 2017

BIGGEST FAIL: Looking and sounding a little bit like a well-known German.

Thank you @MalcolmNance. "Baby Goebbels" is the perfect name for Stephen Miller. #NotTheEnemy #TheResistance #FakePresident #realtime pic.twitter.com/1Ia3HfkA8m

— Michael J. Carroll (@MJohnnyCarroll) February 18, 2017

1) STEVE BANNON

Steve Bannon
Steve Bannon
Jonathan Ernst / Reuters

WHO? Chief Strategist

BOGEYMAN RATING: 10/10

WHY? You haven’t heard much from Steve Bannon, have you?

And that is why he’s so terrifying. The 63-year-old has the ear of the President, a seat on the National Security Council and isn’t worried about being seen in front of the cameras or speaking at press conferences, only implementing policy.

Selection of Steve Bannon for senior WH role unsurprising but alarming. His alt-right, anti-Semitic & misogynistic views don't belong in WH

— Adam Schiff (@RepAdamSchiff) November 13, 2016

And just like Miller, when you dig into his views this becomes more than just a bit worrying. He has...

These are actual headlines Bannon published on his "news" site, this is Trump's chief strategist & sr. counselor: pic.twitter.com/4xRyWabKDS

— Peter Bondi (@pbondi) November 13, 2016

Or as this guy puts it...

Rep. Hakeem Jeffries on MSNBC: Steve Bannon is "a stone cold racist and a white supremacist sympathizer". pic.twitter.com/AGly3r4SYg

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) February 17, 2017
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