On the issue of comedians and travel: the answer, for most comedians is the car share. Mirth Control, one of the online comedy bookers, actively looks for comedians who can drive others from London before deciding who gigs where. That's not entirely feasible from Dartmoor.
This is a silly book, of course - a bit like those guides to surviving a zombie apocalypse. I mean, clowns are harmless bringers of joy, aren't they? They wouldn't turn on us... er, would they? Surely they don't pose the same threat to our civilisation as a plague of zombies. But then again...
Quite remarkably almost 50 years on never-ending repeats from the nine original series are still being broadcast as primetime Saturday night TV. And perhaps most amazing of all Dad's Army has been remade into a new feature film, not reinvented for a 2016 audience but recreated to be as close as possible to the original version.
When people ask me how I can dare do stand-up comedy - on the grounds that it must be terrifying to risk humiliation in front of a crowd of people - I always say that it's nothing, nothing, nothing like as frightening as leading a funeral.
Back at school I was given a small yellow card that meant I could get out of class if I felt I was struggling emotionally in a lesson. Soon enough I was walking in and out of classrooms whenever I liked, whether I was sad or not.