NEW YORK -- Donald Trump announced his intention to run as the Republican candidate in the 2016 presidential election on Tuesday, the billionaire property tycoon delivering a rambling speech heavy on right wing bluster and short on coherence.
Speaking at a press conference at Trump Towers in New York, America’s most famous comb-over wasted no time scaremongering about China, Iran and the Islamic State, before launching into a tirade about domestic jobs and the repeal of Obamacare, which would be immediately replaced by "something much better." What was not specified.
Also hidden within the babble was a promise to build a "great wall" on the Mexican border (that Mexico would pay for), a pledge to stop Iran from acquiring nuclear weapons, and a declaration to back up the Second Amendment (the right to bear arms).
Gesticulating wildly (his periwig unmoved), Trump belittled his fellow Republican candidates, whose "rhetoric" had failed to ignite the public. "They will never make America great again," he lambasted. "They're controlled fully by the lobbyists, by the donors and by special interests."
*retires* https://t.co/hskRItFkkL— Jim Newell (@jim_newell) June 16, 2015
“Our country needs a truly great leader and we need a truly great leader now," he said. "We need a leader that wrote ‘The Art Of The Deal,’ we need a leader that can bring back our jobs... and our military. We need a cheerleader for this country."
Then he said the words: "I'm officially running for president of the United States and we're going to make our country great again.”
To give his campaign a semblance of gravitas, Trump revealed he would like Oprah Winfrey to be his running mate. As in Oprah... who gives away cars on afternoon TV.
The 69-year-old is the second Republican candidate to declare his intention to run this week following a more measured announcement by Jeb Bush on Monday. Donald's inclusion will delight the Democrats, many predicting the bewigged 'birther' will weight down the more serious contenders in the Republican field. In response to Tuesday's announcement, the Democratic Party released the following paragraph of irony:
Today, Donald Trump became the second major Republican candidate to announce for president in two days. He adds some much-needed seriousness that has previously been lacking from the GOP field, and we look forward to hearing more about his ideas for the nation.
Click here to read the 10 craziest lines from Trump's address.