tweets of the week
"Sometimes I like to live dangerously by putting ketchup on my kid’s dinner plate without asking where they would like it first."
"You don’t know what stress is until you watch your 2 year old try to spread cream cheese on a bagel."
"The parenting books don’t tell you you’re going to go broke buying reusable water bottles for your kid to lose."
"I’m less of a 'Don’t say that' mum and more of a 'Don’t say that at school' mum."
"I can’t tell if this is my kid’s class roster or a list of the Instagram filters."
"One side of our sink has a garbage disposal. The other side is where my daughter just dumped a full bowl of cereal."
"One fun thing about kids is that when you tell them to wash their hands, you have to specify 'with soap.'"
"Laughing at a child’s joke is a great way to hear that exact same joke 8,000 more times."
"There’s nothing more condescending than a 4yo correcting you while they’re in the middle of making up a story."
"Well, the toddler throws the restaurant's food on the floor too, so at least I know it's not my cooking."