José Mourinho, one of the finest wind-up merchants in football, struggled to rein in his revulsion as he complained West Ham's tactics in their 0-0 draw at Chelsea were "from the 19th century".
"A football match is about two teams playing and this match was only one team playing and another team not playing," Mourinho moaned.
Sam Allardyce 'Doesn't Give A S***e What José Mourinho Says
"I told Big Sam and I repeat my words: They need points and, because they need points, to come here and play the way they did, is it acceptable? Maybe, yes.
"I cannot be too critical, because if I was in his position I don't know if I would do the same. Maybe.
"At the same time I told also this is not Premier League, this is not the best league in the world, this is football from the 19th century."
Mourinho has been in far more auspicious positions than 18th and still played as negatively...
5 negative Mourinho displays
Liverpool 1-0 Chelsea, 2007 Champions League semi-final(01 of05)
Open Image ModalThe "s**t on a stick" era, as Jorge Valdano put it. This was a fight nobody wanted to win, for both teams were boring, knockout specialists. After Daniel Agger cancelled out Joe Cole's first leg winner to level the tie after 22 minutes, both sides played for penalties. Liverpool won after 120 horrendous minutes.
Manchester United, 2007 FA Cup final(02 of05)
Open Image ModalNot as bad as Arsenal in 2005 (Chelsea at least won it without penalties), this was an abominable match between two teams knackered after slugging it out for the title and reeling from Champions League semi-final defeats. Chelsea prevailed, but it was uglier than Iain Dowie. (credit:Getty Images)
Barcelona 1-0 Chelsea, 2010 Champions League semi-final(03 of05)
Open Image ModalFootball's most victorious defeat? Barcelona had 76% possession but it took them 84 minutes to breach Internazionale's seemingly impregnable fort. Inter protected a 3-1 first leg lead successfully, and went through to the final via a 3-2 aggregate win. (credit:Getty Images)
Real Madrid 0-2 Barcelona, 2011 Champions League semi-final(04 of05)
Open Image ModalThe refereeing over both semi-final legs was diabolically in favour of Barcelona, but Madrid were inhibited by Mourinho's pragmatic approach. Cristiano Ronaldo looked like a mutineer marooned on a desert island as his teammates sailed further and further away from him, and although Pepe's daft dismissal was the turning point, Barcelona were worthy winners.
Manchester United 0-0 Chelsea, 2013(05 of05)
Open Image ModalDavid Moyes got away with a lot of flak for this soporific stalemate thanks to Mourinho's strikerless XI. Pep Guardiola and Vicente del Bosque do it, but there is usually an end product. Not on this occasion. United barely threatened and Chelsea never threatened.