I had the Glastonbury experience a few weeks ago for the first time. I can check that one off my bucket list. No one told me to bring wellies; I thought - it's summer, why would it rain? I ended up impacted in mud having to beg passers-by to help me lift my feet.
Kanye is not a rock musician, I'm pretty sure he's as aware of that as you and I are. But I'm also pretty sure that's not what he means when he describes himself as a rock star. He means he's an important entertainer and pop culture figure. And the fact he said one simple sentence and we're all still weighing up whether he's right or not two weeks later would certainly suggest that's the case.
I journeyed to Glastonbury 2015 with these unconvincing stats (and a hefty rucksack) on my back. A weary feminist in every sense, I didn't expect any mind-blowing gender debate from Worthy Farm...
If anything festivals are starting to lead the way in demonstrating how deaf and disabled people can fully enjoy the whole experience alongside their family and friends. In my own experience many of the big festivals are going beyond the simple legal access requirements and doing more than paying lip service to accessibility.
Mod was very often routed in class. Working class young men who wanted to look super smart when they went out at the weekend and would save for months to buy the right clothes. Add into the mix a carefully selected mix of music, a penchant for drugs to keep them dancing all night and the desire to prove they were not defined by a dreary office job - and you have a template that can be repeated whatever the year.
Whenever I see an old documentary about the 70s (or the 90s more recently) there always seems to be some old boy, talking-head saying "Well, everything had gotten so stale, people were bored of the same faces and same shit coming out. It was ripe for a shake-up". I feel like that about now.
The banging beats of Leftfield's epic Sonic Stage headline set shall live forever in my heart (sorry Kanye), and I know if we apply the same dedication to recovery as we did to partying last week we'll be back to normal in no time.
Up all night, covered in filth, ears constantly ringing... When you think about it, a weekend at Glastonbury is pretty damn close to life at home with toddlers.
There are other fantastic festivals up and down the country, but none of them come close to beating the Eavis family's spectacular. What makes Worthy Farm so special? And how can the organisers of Reading, Isle Of Wight, V et al replicate Glastonbury's success? Fresh from another brilliant weekend, I've got a few ideas...
Year on year, the amount of time set aside to covering Glastonbury seems to increase. The Worthy Farm extravaganza also seemed to appear in every news bulletin. Undoubtedly it is the UK's most famous music festival, but that is all it is. A music festival. Singers performing on a stage in front of thousands of people is not a news item.
Sixty Young Greens have been invited to camp on Pennard Hill. Our task: create a series of camping villages, live sustainably within them, and encourage members of the public to join us and do the same.
The other day I agreed to sit for my portrait. Not that I want to hang it in my consulting rooms for my clients to stare at, but I thought it would be something for the "vanity" department.
With virtually every band that is making waves at the moment seemingly in attendance, it almost seems irrelevant that the Sunday headliner is still to be announced as whoever that may be is going to be the cherry on top of a bountiful cake.
Declan McKenzie is a name that will be up in lights before he reaches the end of his teenage years but there could well be more than just his talent emerging from this competition that is proving to be one of the most important in UK music.
If Kanye isn't quite to your refined taste either, and you're 100% positive that you don't want to witness his headline set, then I'm sure you'd be able to find alternative entertainment at the festival, right? As anyone who has been to the festival will tell you, there's a whole other world to Glastonbury than the Pyramid Stage!
If we can all agree on anything, it's that Kanye takes himself very, very seriously, and he's not a man who's going to mess up the biggest performance of his career so far, at one of the most famous festivals in the world. Don't believe me? Here's why he'll blow everyone away...