best parenting tweets
"You don’t know what stress is until you watch your 2 year old try to spread cream cheese on a bagel."
"My husband and I decided we don't want to have children. We will be telling them tonight."
"The parenting books don’t tell you you’re going to go broke buying reusable water bottles for your kid to lose."
"I’m less of a 'Don’t say that' mum and more of a 'Don’t say that at school' mum."
"I can’t tell if this is my kid’s class roster or a list of the Instagram filters."
"The first day of school is singlehandedly keeping the tiny chalkboard industry alive."
"One side of our sink has a garbage disposal. The other side is where my daughter just dumped a full bowl of cereal."
"One fun thing about kids is that when you tell them to wash their hands, you have to specify 'with soap.'"
"Laughing at a child’s joke is a great way to hear that exact same joke 8,000 more times."
"There’s nothing more condescending than a 4yo correcting you while they’re in the middle of making up a story."