#TheDress Is White And Gold, Not Blue And Black, Says Ed Miliband

Earth-Shattering Miliband Announcement On #TheDress Could Change Everything
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Stop the presses. The leader of the opposition has spoken on a subject far more important to us (for the last 24 hours) than poverty, immigration, the NHS - and definitely than tuition fees.

This, quite frankly, was what the people wanted to know.

Outing himself as a reprehensible and irresponsible fantasist, Ed Miliband told ITV News that, in his warped opinion, the colour of "the dress" is white and gold (a view which, according to the vast majority of the Huffington Post UK office, is sick and wrong).

The dress is, in fact, blue and black, but to say it has torn the internet into two ragged halves would an understatement. The original image of the dress was posted by a 21-year-old singer named Caitlin McNeill, who shared it with talent manager Sarah Weichel, who could not agree on the colour.

The top trends worldwide since yesterday evening have almost entirely related to the dress.

So when ITV News interviewed Ed Miliband this afternoon, this was inevitable.

"It's an official Labour party position, Chris, that it's white and gold," Miliband told deputy political editor Chris Ship. "I'm not sure I could enforce official discipline across the Shadow Cabinet on this, but for me, it's white and gold."

"And that is where this deputy political editor and the leader of the Opposition disagree," Ship replied, sensibly

Then Labour's press team got in there with this:

As did Harriet Harman, clearly forced to take the party line:

Few other politicians have dared venture their views on the subject. It went unmentioned at Mark Reckless' speech at Ukip conference in Margate this afternoon, or at Ukip leader Nigel Farage's speech at CPAC in Washington yesterday evening.

The furore over the dress has well-eclipsed Miliband's major announcement today, which confirmed Labour would slash tuition fees to £6,000 if they win the next election.

In a speech at the Leeds College of Music, Miliband said that under the current system, the average graduate leaves university with more than £44,000 of debt - more than the average income.

"The scourge of debt from tuition fees is not only holding back our young people, it is a burden on our country," he told supporters, adding that the policy will "go down as one of the most expensive broken promises in history".

How costly his plain insane interpretation of the colour of a patently blue and black dress will be for Mr Miliband remains unclear.