Frankie Boyle Has An Utterly Brutal Assessment Of This Year's Party Conferences

Frankie Boyle Has An Utterly Brutal Assessment Of The Current State Of UK Politics
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Cutting comic Frankie Boyle has nailed this year’s party conferences in possibly his most astute column yet.

In a Guardian roundup which expertly lampoons all three parties for their “strange, dull ceremonies”, Boyle’s interpretation of Britain’s political landscape is as biting as it is bleak.

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Frankie Boyle's sums up the Labour, Lib Dems and Tory conferences with aplomb

Cementing his reputation as a political commentator, Boyle’s descriptions of the runners and riders are as insightful as they are hilarious, and prove no one is safe from his equal-opportunities acid tongue.

Frankie Boyle sums up the party conferences
Jeremy Corbyn (01 of05)
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Tom Watson (02 of05)
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Theresa May (03 of05)
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George Osborne(04 of05)
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David Cameron (05 of05)
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Boyle is rapidly gaining a reputation for his wry political acumen.

Last week, the Scot mused in his own blog upon allegations Cameron had “put a private part of his anatomy” into a dead pig’s mouth, during an initiation ritual at a Piers Gaveston event at Oxford University.

Boyle remarked: “The interesting thing for me is that because the allegation is that he did it in a roomful of people wearing dinner jackets, it’s sort of OK.

Boyle, who has also implied Cameron to be a "shrewd and malevolent psychopath", does not limit his observations solely to politics however.

The comedian has also taken aim at cerebral palsy, Down's syndrome, suicide, Jimmy Savile, Katie Price's disabled son Harvey, the Royal family and the Middle East conflict.

Further figures and topics who have found themselves under Boyle's harsh spotlight include:

The Best Frankie Boyle Quotes
Lambasting Labour's leadership hopefuls(01 of09)
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Boyle had a few choice words for those running to be Ed Miliband's successor. He accused Andy Burnham and Yvette Cooper of giving interviews "with the halting, guarded intonation of a hostage". He blasted Liz Kendall for having the "alarming air of an Apprentice candidate" but saved rare praise for Jeremy Corbyn, calling him "one of the few decent politicians remaining in the Labour party". (credit: PA/GETTY/REX)
Blistering battering of Branson(02 of09)
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Virgin owner and millionaire mogul Richard Branson probably didn't expect to get much criticism for writing a blog calling for a crackdown on global warming. But Boyle, in his time honoured fashion, retorted, saying: "You own an airline you mad c*nt." The exchange wasn't pretty... (credit:Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
Clegg's cutting castigation (03 of09)
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The former Deputy Prime Minster Nick Clegg is one of Boyle's favourite subjects on which to muse. He has previously referred to the ex Lib Dem leader as a "c*nt", "like one of those terrified mouse faces that you find in an owl pellet", and said of Clegg: "If he died today, you'd be able to cater Nick Clegg's funeral with a packet of Space Raiders". Ouch! (credit:Dominic Lipinski/PA Archive)
Fuming at Farage(04 of09)
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Comedian colleague Andrew Lawrence lambasted Boyle's old stomping ground show, Mock the Week, criticising it of a liberal bias. In a Facebook post he attacked it for its "aging, balding, fat men, ethnic comedians and women-posing-as-comedians, sit congratulating themselves on how enlightened they are about the fact that Ukip are ridiculous and pathetic". The comments were shared by Nigel Farage on Twitter, but were swiftly rebutted by Boyle, who said: "There are a lot of honest people in comedy, which is why they keep calling you a c*nt." Then ensued a battle between the two. (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Expletives for X Factor star(05 of09)
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James Arthur, a finalist on ITV's X Factor, recieved a double-barreled helping of stinging critique from Boyle on Twitter back in 2012. In two posts, the Tramadol Nights creator wrote of the TV show contestant: "James McArthur is like a cross between a tramp and a duckling". He followed it up swiftly with: "James Arthur looks like someone put a sheep's teeth into a baby's head". Arthur announced he was "quitting Twitter" days later. (credit:Dominic Lipinski/PA Archive)
Musings on the media(06 of09)
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Boyle was an unapologetic independence supporter in the run-up to last year's referendum in Scotland. In the aftermath of the result he criticised the media, accusing outlets of carrying a pro-Union bias in their reporting. On independence, he said: "I'm all for it. It won't happen. One of the reasons it won't happen is the media is just completely against it. There's a huge level of media bias." He also said that broadcast bosses were censoring comedy, and observed that current TV guides look like "the entertainment programme on a f****** cruise ship". (credit:JUAN MABROMATA via Getty Images)
Thundering thumping of two million Scots(07 of09)
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The c-bomb is a certain favourite of Boyle's. But in a world first he used it to decry 2 million people, rather than just a choice selection of victims. Following Scotland's delivery of a slim 'no' majority in last year's independence referendum, Boyle blasted the two million Union supporters "c*nts". In a post on Twitter, he wrote: "I should have expected this, because if you'd asked me to estimate how many c*nts there were in Scotland I'd have said about 2 million." (credit:Jeff J Mitchell via Getty Images)
Censure of Clarkson(08 of09)
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Ousted Top Gear frontman Jeremy Clarkson didn't escape Boyle's firing line, after the motoring show presenter was revealed to have mumbled the N-word singing a nursery rhyme in an outtake. Boyle called for Clarkson to be sacked from his top position because he was a "cultural tumour". (credit:Brian Lawless/PA Wire)
Saving sweet words for Sturgeon(09 of09)
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There is one person for whom Boyle has some rare praise, though. SNP leader and Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon was the subject of "muted horror" in the English media, he claimed. "People feel much more comfortable with the Fifty Shades of Grey version of women’s liberation: possibly feeling life would be much simpler if the suffragettes hadn’t wanted the vote and just really enjoyed chaining themselves to railings," Boyle said. "It feels almost as if the establishment is still assessing her. Which of the traditional tactics to employ: scorn or vilification? Do you call her the most dangerous woman in Britain or stage a smear where she’s a gossipy woman? Decisions, decisions." (credit:ANDY BUCHANAN via Getty Images)