March Jottings

March Jottings
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Remember Baba Amr - remember those who looked on.

Nero played the lyre as Rome burned - President Assad of Syria uploads iTunes.

The reason British policemen are nicknamed Plod - they're too fat to run.

Gay marriage - payback for our pinching their disco hits.

At the risk of being irradiated with polonium - Putin is a pussy.

The Queen - a short woman who makes everyone else seem like pygmies.

Another bail-out, another European treaty - death has never been so protracted.

Aggressive secularism - also shared by Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot and Mao.

The public sector - producing nothing and costing everything.

Conspiracy theory - a Bermuda triangle trapped in a circular argument contained in a square box of bullshit.

Humans spend their childhood being told they're special - then spend the rest of their lives discovering they're not.

Argentina forgets the Falklands belong to Britain - a submarine-launched cruise missile might one day remind them.

Junkies - they often die in vein.

Life - treading water before you drown.

Celebrity is nothing - you still have to eat, crap and die.

Every nation needs a still small voice - in Britain it's called Christianity.

People don't require psychotherapy - they need a slap for being dull and self-absorbed.

Multiculturalism - disparate tribes pretending they like each other beneath a thin veneer of correctness.

Bitterness - the gap between aspiration and ability.

Taxation - predation on the successful for the benefit of the less so.

LibDems - love 'em or hate 'em...or just hate 'em.