Dave Berry's Hidden London

Here is my guide for "Lucky bastards who not only live in London, but finish work at 10pm and might not know about a few gems dotted around this fair city" snappy title, I'm sure you all agree.
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In little over a week I record a new series of 'Real Stories' for Channel 4 and start 'Beat TV for ITV2' which is live every night throughout the Olympics. I am of course very much looking forward to hosting both, even if alongside my weekday morning commitments of chatting nonsense and playing the hits on the Capital breakfast show from 6am I am going to be either (a) totally exhausted or (b) completely wired.

However I don't expect any of you to own the smallest violin in the world, and this post isn't about 'High class problems' and my woes of getting paid to stand around making stuff up, even though my working day will see me getting up at 4:30am and in bed around midnight! (No? Nothing? Not one ounce of sympathy?)

And rightfully so dear reader! Because until that time comes, I currently finish the Capital breakfast show at 10am and I'm done for the day! So here is my guide for "Lucky bastards who not only live in London, but finish work at 10pm and might not know about a few gems dotted around this fair city" snappy title, I'm sure you all agree.

10am:

Caffe Italia Soho. Great coffee and all the people watching you could ever desire! Blow the cobwebs off with a double espresso, and the loving yet forceful stare of a passing predatory homosexual.

11am:

Make your way to October House English tailors, located at 42 New Oxford WC2H the first floor studio space. Its floor to ceiling gothic arch windows, antique furniture and beautiful selection of fine clothing make it the perfect place to talk menswear and in our case have a nice cold beer. (Yes I am fully aware it's 11am but have a little faith, I will not fail you...your kidneys might though)

12pm Hungry? Me too! So now we head to the Henry Root on Park Walk (just off Fulham Road), SW10. It's worth doing a little research on Mr. Root if you have time, he was a fascinating character. With very tasty specials changing daily, a very well put together wine list and the most entertaining water jug in the history of restaurants, it's perfect for lunch. On this occasion I opt for cumin spiced lamb rump, peas, broad beans, mint, feta and aubergine caviar with a glass of 2009 Chianti, Don Guido Fattoria La Collina. (Yes I Googled it, shut up, it's was delicious).

2pm Walk off lunch? Read? Get slightly thoughtful about who you are and why you are here? Yes it's off to the Brompton cemetery everyone! I discovered this place just a few weeks ago and since then I have been a regular visitor. Yes it's a cemetery but trust me once you walk five/ten minutes into the place you will struggle to believe you are still in London It's so peaceful and truly beautiful. Plus you may spot the odd group of Goths hanging around from time to time and I bloody love those guys!

4pm Stroll to the 'Sporting Page pub', find a little table, exchange fanciful tales with your friends and stay there happy and contented until Jim the bar man comes over and says your radio show producer has called and he says it's time for you to go home now. (This only happened twice).

I look forward to our paths crossing.