Gilda Radner(01 of38)
Open Image Modal"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships."
Shelley Winters (02 of38)
Open Image Modal"I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long."
Jane Austen(03 of38)
Open Image Modal"A woman especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can."
Roseanne Barr (04 of38)
Open Image Modal"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself."
Audrey Hepburn(05 of38)
Open Image Modal"Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn't help if you're ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up."
Sarah Millican (06 of38)
Open Image Modal"Big girls don't cry? Yeah, they do. They cry 'cos they're fat, they cry 'cos they can't get a boyfriend, and they cry 'cos there's no trifle left."
Katharine Hepburn (07 of38)
Open Image Modal"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."
Nora Ephron(08 of38)
Open Image Modal"I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them."
Tina Fey(09 of38)
Open Image Modal"Here's the truth: there is an actual difference between male and female comedy writers. The men urinate in cups. And sometimes jars."
Bette Davis (10 of38)
Open Image Modal"I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box."
Zsa Zsa Gabor(11 of38)
Open Image Modal"I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?"
Dorothy Parker(12 of38)
Open Image ModalIn response to a letter from her editor asking for more stories during her honeymoon: "I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa."
Cher(13 of38)
Open Image Modal"The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing - and then they marry him."
Phyllis Diller(14 of38)
Open Image Modal"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."
Virginia Woolf(15 of38)
Open Image Modal"For most of history, Anonymous was a woman."
Carol Burnett(16 of38)
Open Image Modal"When I was growing up in Hollywood, I thought you had to look like Betty Grable or Tony Curtis to get anywhere in showbusiness. But I never worried about my looks too much. Some people said I looked like Tony Curtis."
Maria Bamford(17 of38)
Open Image Modal"I used to be afraid of relationships. Somebody would ask me out and I'd say 'Just take my purse, don't hurt me.'"
Simone de Beauvoir(18 of38)
Open Image Modal"This has always been a man's world, and none of the reasons that have been offered in explanation have seemed adequate."
Victoria Wood(19 of38)
Open Image Modal"All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro."
Rita Rudner(20 of38)
Open Image Modal"Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid."
Gloria Steinem(21 of38)
Open Image Modal"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career."
Kristen Wiig(22 of38)
Open Image Modal"It's 2011. Women do that stuff... Women swear. Women get drunk. Women pass out in their own vomit."
Sarah Silverman(23 of38)
Open Image Modal"I don't care if you think I'm racist, I just want you to think I'm thin."
Lucille Ball(24 of38)
Open Image Modal"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
Sophia Loren(25 of38)
Open Image Modal"Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got."
Jo Brand(26 of38)
Open Image Modal"How do you know if it's time to wash the dishes and clean your house? Look inside your pants. If you find a penis in there, it's not time."
Dolly Parton (27 of38)
Open Image Modal"It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen."
Mae West(28 of38)
Open Image Modal"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."
Lucy Porter(29 of38)
Open Image Modal"The gender roles are pretty fluid in our house - I've assumed quite a lot of traditional 'dad' tasks, like taking out the bins and drinking too much port."
Joan Rivers (30 of38)
Open Image Modal"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."
Eleanor Roosevelt (31 of38)
Open Image Modal"A woman is like a tea bag: you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."
Whoopi Goldberg (32 of38)
Open Image Modal"An actress can only play a woman. I'm an actor - I can play anything."
George Eliot(33 of38)
Open Image Modal"I'm not denying that the women are foolish: God Almighty made them to match the men."
Ellen DeGeneres(34 of38)
Open Image Modal"Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that."
Amy Poehler(35 of38)
Open Image Modal"I've always dreamed of growing up to be Amy Poehler."
Lily Tomlin (36 of38)
Open Image Modal"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific."
Marilyn Monroe(37 of38)
Open Image Modal"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it."
Lizz Winstead(38 of38)
Open Image Modal"I think, therefore I am single." (credit:Getty)