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'Justin Bieber Stole My Credit Card To Pay For A Penis Enlargement', Claims Lawsuit Filed In Michigan

'Justin Bieber Stole My Credit Card To Pay For A Penis Enlargement'
Sara C Nelson
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Justin Bieber is being sued by a man who claims the teenage pop star stole his credit card to fund a penis enlargement.

The unnamed claimant also alleges the singer Usher visited his house and sodomized him with a firework while playing a Katy Perry song, TMZ revealed.

The lawsuit claims Bieber used the stolen credit card to buy drugs which he then shared with Sean Coombs "to use in drug free school zones."

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Justin Bieber is being sued by a maniac

The man behind the lawsuit says he is the father of Bieber's girlfriend Selena Gomez, accuses Bieber of giving her a sexually transmitted disease and making her pregnant, specifically on his Canadian bear-skin rug.

He says Bieber still owes him $426.78 for the abortion Gomez later had and adds: "I'm an emotional mess...America must boycott biebers music!"

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However, the 18-year-old's army of fans are unlikely to be ruffled by the news, and Bieber himself continues to go about his wholesome, noble business.

This week he surprised a cancer-stricken superfan after her family and friends spearheaded a social media campaign to bring the two together.

Four year old Hailey Roser had tickets to a Bieber concert but it was feared she would succumb to a cancerous brain tumour before her dream could be realised. So big-hearted Biebs visited the girl in Milwaukee. Ahhh.

17 Other Crazy Ass Lawsuits
Women Sue For Being Called 'Hot', Pictured With 'Douchebags'(01 of13)
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Last October, Yvette Gorzelany, Joanna Obiedzinski, and Paulina Pakos attempted to sue over their appearance in the book "Hot Chicks with Douchebags." The ladies filed a defamation suit only to have it thrown out by a New Jersey judge in February who ruled it as a work of satire (duh). The judge proved the point further by asking whether a reasonable person could "believe that Jean-Paul Sartre stated 'man is condemned to be douchey because once thrown into the world he is responsible for every douchey thing that he does.'" Yeah, we're with the judge on that one. (source)
Beer Commercial Promises Women, Doesn't Deliver(02 of13)
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It would take a lot of beer to believe this guy's story. In 1991 Richard Overton actually tried to sue Anheuser-Busch for $10,000 because upon drinking copious amounts of Bud Light, beautiful women didn't come to life in a tropical setting, as shown in the commercials. Guess what Richard? Frogs and lizards can't really talk, either. (source)
Sick Of Being A Celebrity Doppelganger? Sue!(03 of13)
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Oregon man Allen Heckard had a unique problem: people constantly told him he looked like basketball star Michael Jordan. Except Heckard saw it a bit differently, Michael Jordan looked like him. Naturally, he decided to sue Jordan and Nike for $832 million for his "emotional pain and suffering." But we thought everyone wanted to "be like Mike"?! (source)
Lindsay Lohan Sues For Depiction Of "Milkaholic" Baby(04 of13)
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This year, Lindsay Lohan sought $100 million from E-Trade for use of the name "Lindsay" in reference to a female baby in their Super Bowl ad. Her people claimed the public knows her by the singular name, like Oprah or Madonna, and that referring to the baby as a "milk-aholic" directly references her life. We think she should be FINED $100 million just for being so vain. (source)
Broke? In Prison? Sue Yourself!(05 of13)
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In 1995, Robert Lee Brock attempted to sue himself for $5 million claiming he violated his own civil rights by getting intoxicated and committing crimes. He was serving a 23 year prison sentence at the time and thought the state would have to pay because he was incarcerated. Not hard to believe, the case was thrown out. (source)
Haunted House Too Scary? Here's $15,000!(06 of13)
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Usually haunted houses get points for being scary, but in the 2000 case of Cleanthi Peters, scariness got Universal Studios a $15,000 lawsuit. Peters claimed to have suffered "extreme fear, mental anguish, and emotional distress" after visiting the Halloween Horror Nights haunted house. Maybe she could use some of that money to learn what "haunted house" means. (source)
$100,000 For A Leg Cramp?(07 of13)
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We've all wanted to sue an airline for awful food, uncomfortable seats, or longer-than-life wait times, but this couple actually did it. Jerome and Judith O'Callaghan sued American Airlines for $100,000 in 2004 because the leg room was smaller than they expected. (source)
Kidney "Donation" Ends In $1.5 M Lawsuit(08 of13)
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When a Long Island doctor (yes, DOCTOR) was served with divorce papers by his cheating wife, he naturally decided to sue her for the return of a gift he gave her 8 years prior: his kidney. Yes, a medical professional put a price of $1.5 million on the body part, to be paid by his ex. At least he didn't want it back! (source)
Victoria's REAL Secret: Defective Merchandise?(09 of13)
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52-year-old L.A. traffic cop Macrida Patterson sued Victoria's Secret after a thong she purchased there broke. The underwear had a rhinestone heart on the side that broke, flew into Macrida's eye and hurt her. We're not sure if Victoria's Secret made a defective thong, or whether Macrida just needs to buy bigger underwear. (source)
Women Using Urinals Causes "Emotional Distress"(10 of13)
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In 1995, Robert Glaser entered at unisex bathroom at a Billy Joel/Elton John concert and found not one, but multiple women using urinals in lieu of the toilets. Glaser sued the venue for $5.4 million for his "emotional distress" and lost. At least he got a good story out of it. (source)
This Lawsuit Is What's "Unreasonable"(11 of13)
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(image) Zeynep Inanli is suing Starbucks for serving her tea that was "unreasonably hot." She claims the tea gave her second-degree burns and "great physical pain and mental anguish." Yeah, we're sure that's worth millions of dollars, right? (source)
Man Sues For Damages To Car After RUNNING OVER Boy(12 of13)
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When Tomas Delgado was driving over the speed limit and hit and killed child on a bike, a loophole got him out of any trouble (the boy was riding at night without safety gear or reflectors). You'd think getting away with murder would be enough, but Delgado decided to sue the family of the boy for damages to his Audi. It's a good thing he later dropped the lawsuit, or we would have lost ALL faith in humanity. (source)
Man Accuses Magicians Of Using His Powers(13 of13)
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Christopher Roller is just a regular Minnesota resident. Well, except that he thinks he's a god. Roller got upset after seeing David Copperfield and David Blaine do their magic tricks, and sued both magicians for use of his "godly powers." So not only does this man think he's holy, but that his holy duty is to perform card tricks and faux levitation? Awesome. (source)
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