EU MAKE ME SICK: European foods(01 of16)
Open Image ModalFrench baguettes go stale in a day (and who can eat that much bread?!), their crazy foreign cheese are full of holes and anything that lives by a pond (eg frogs and snails) should stay there and not hop or crawl their muddy sluggy bodies onto our English plates. Additionally continental breakfasts? Je n'aime pas. If it isn't hot and it doesn't have a runny yolk, it isn't a breakfast. (credit:Alamy)
WE CAN WORK IT OUT: Sprouts and Sweetbreads(02 of16)
Open Image ModalIf we left the EU sprouts would have to be renamed. After all we would hate Brussels.It's not really fair to accuse Europeans of having weird food either. Recently we discovered we've been chomping away on horsemeat in our burgers, bringing us one step closer to the French. With dishes like sweetbreads (testicles) tripe (bleached cow intestine) and haggis (a wild scottish mystery meat) who are we to be pointing fingers? (credit:Alamy)
TA RA FOR NOW: 'Fashion Conscious' Europe(03 of16)
Open Image ModalMany British men and women are style icons, it's true. However for many ordinary Brits struggling to work in fleeces and beanies, it is a trial to keep up with the glittering garbs and gold lame glowing on catwalks abroad. French women are too well kept for us battered Brits and no Italian man would be caught dead wearing socks and sandals. We Brits favour comfort over style (credit:Alamy)
LET'S STAY TOGETHER: Enter the onesie and the novelty slipper(04 of16)
Open Image ModalWe need all the help we can get. Grown human Britons have been spotted outside in onesies. That's a baby gro for adults. And we thought socks and sandals were bad. (credit:Alamy)
SAY GOODBYE TO EU BUREAUCRACY(05 of16)
Open Image ModalNo more EU regulations, we can have bendy bananas, dirtier beaches, and work longer hours. Wahoo! (credit:Alamy)
Want to leave the EU? WELCOME TO ADMINISTRATIVE HELL(06 of16)
Open Image ModalIf we left the EU, we'd have to change passports, driving licences, and number plates. There would be extra paperwork for extended holidays, years abroad and tax headaches. (credit:Alamy)
SO LONG, FAREWELL to Europe and its crazy driving(07 of16)
Open Image ModalMy fellow Brits, beware. As soon the white cliffs of Dover retreat from the horizon, anyone in possession of a pair of car keys turns into a motoring monster.Not only do those bloody Europeans drive on the WRONG side of the blinking road, they also drive like a lunatics, with frenzied overuse of the horn, flagrant disregard for mini roundabouts and a cavalier attitude towards parking. (credit:Getty Images)
MIGHT AS WELL STAY: British drivers are quite bad too(08 of16)
Open Image ModalAlbeit we do our crazy driving in foreign cars.Plus... the Autobahn is pretty cool. Whooooosh. (credit:PA)
FAREWELL, SO LONG: Poor language skills(09 of16)
Open Image ModalPeople abroad might pretend to speak English well, but let's face it they don't. No matter how loud we shout at them. (credit:Alamy)
WE SHOULD STAY: Language(10 of16)
Open Image ModalBrits don't travel well. We're lucky anyone talks to us at all. (credit:Alamy)
B*GGER OFF: We love animals more(11 of16)
Open Image ModalBrits love their animals like no one in Europe. We love all dogs, whether thin, sausage like or large or gros, unlike the French who only like small yappy dogs, preferably carried under a fur-clad arm or on the end of a ridiculously long lead. And who hasn't been on a European holiday and seen a waiter kick a stray cat or bark at a dog to go away? British food has been named one of the most vegetarian-friendly countries in the EU too. Plus we don't eat horse. Face it, Europe, we just love animals more than you. (credit:Alamy)
WE SHOULD STAY: Cool European breeds(12 of16)
Open Image ModalThis poodle could teach scruffy British pets a thing or two about style. (credit:Getty Images)
WE SHOULD LEAVE: To watch Cameron exploding(13 of16)
Open Image ModalA good reason to go is that former Belgian prime minister Guy Verhofstadt told HuffPost UK that Cameron was a “madman, threatening to blow himself up unless he gets his own way”. So lets not give him his own way (and watch him explode!) (credit:Alamy)
Let's stay in: To p*ss off Murdoch mainly (14 of16)
Open Image ModalIf the British people voted to stay in it would really p*ss off Rupert Murdoch, Paul Dacre and Richard Desmond. What would they write about? The Daily Express offices would implode in a heap of blue blood and dizzy yellow stars. (credit:Alamy)
WE SHOULD LEAVE because of Nigel Farage(15 of16)
Open Image ModalIf we separated from the EU, Nigel Farage would be on television more. And he'd be even more excited than usual because he will have been right (credit:PA)
WE SHOULD STAY Because Nigel Farage Would Be On The TV(16 of16)
Open Image ModalAnd he would be angry, which would be amazing. (credit:Getty Images)