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The Artist Formerly Known As Ginger Spice is back! With a new song! And accompanying video! And here's an 18-point breakdown of what happens in it...
Geri Halliwell - 'Half Of Me'
1. Through a rousing electronic trumpet intro, the camera works its way through person...(01 of21)
..after person...(02 of21)
..after person. Only to reveal...(03 of21)
...just how small Geri Halliwell really is.(04 of21)
2. Geri sings the line "I gave you the finger" while pointing. This completely reinvents the lyric.(05 of21)
3. Geri either can't choose between, or is terrified of, two gay men.(06 of21)
4. To make things even more complicated, two more gay men start hitting on her. (For all its talk of 'half of me', this song video features an awful lot of threesomes.)(07 of21)
5. Geri utters the poetic line "You fit me perfectly right".(08 of21)
6. Geri attempts sign language.(09 of21)
7. Geri dances with children. She is still smaller than one of them.(10 of21)
8. Geri dances with people in giant animal suits (these account for three-quarters of the £200 total video budget).(11 of21)
9. There is a token ukulele (this accounts for one-quarter of the total £200 video budget).(12 of21)
10. We are shown that gay men, amazingly, come in all shapes, sizes and ages. Though not races.(13 of21)
11. Just in case we miss its meaning, Geri mimes sex while singing "I wanna have your baby".(14 of21)
12. Just in case we miss the meaning of 'bear', a 'bear' hits on a 'bear'.(15 of21)
13. Geri is still dilemma'd/terrified by the two gorgeous gay men.(16 of21)
14. Her friend, less so.(17 of21)
15. Geri sings and dances with all the roped-in extras. These include...(18 of21)
16. This pissed-off cowboy...(19 of21)
17. ...and this pissed-off woman.(20 of21)
18. Geri can't quite believe what's just happened. Neither can we.(21 of21)
NOW WATCH THE VIDEO IN ALL ITS £200 GLORY: